Friday Night Fights: The High Price of Hubris

A life lesson, courtesy of the Justice Society and Bahlactus:

 

FNF Atom's pride causes Hourman pain

So, remember, kiddies, taking pride in your new found powers make cause your teammate to be knocked unconscious.

And also remember, Always Bet on Bahlactus.

 

My take on Miss South Carolina Teen

Has every one heard about Lauren Caitlin Upton? She is Miss South Carolina Teen who was asked by Mario Lopez during the Miss Teen USA contest, ""One fifth of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map; why do you think that is?" Let's see if we can go to the tape:

 

Uhhh...what did she just say?? Miss Teen South Carolina 2007

 Hopefully, that worked. Regardless, she funked up her response.

I have an opinion on the whole thing. Hopefully, I'll be gentler.

1. First off, I agree pretty much with everything Peter David says, and I will probably parrot him several times in this blog post.
2. I am not a big supporter of beauty pageants, especially when it comes to young girls. I believe that when a woman could be anything she wants, from the president to a stripper. If an adult woman wants to be in a beauty contest, more power to her. But when you are 18 and under, in my opinion, most times it becomes less about what you want and more about what someone else wants.
3. That was a pretty stupid question to ask a beauty pageant contestant. The answer is simple: because enough emphasis is not placed in geography in our schools. And the fact that people are stupid, but we won't go into that. Neither answer is fit for a beauty contest answer. The judges want positive and peppy.
4. I consider myself a Supergenius but I don't know much about geography. I CAN find the US on the map though. Canada and Mexico too. And England. And France. Spain, Germany too. Russia and China as well. After that, it's a crap shoot. Seriously. I'd wager a bet that most people have a hard time find stuff on maps. If anybody can place every country on the map, they are too scary to be associated with.
5. I bet Dubya would stumble just as bad if he had to answer that question on the spot. Heck, he'd probably screw up a prepared statement about it.
6. Public speaking is nerve wracking, whether it's a board meeting of 12 people of an audience of 150 people, like the Miss Teen USA pageant gets.  
7. Is there anything that Mario Lopez won't do?

This week's new releases.

I. Balls of Fury (3,052 Theaters, Rated PG-13, Opened Wednesday): Ah, will Hollywood ever run out of sports to parody? I think ping pong falls somewhere between Ice Dancing (Blades of Glory) and Dodgeball (DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story) on the sport/not-a-sport scale.

This film also apes that Jean-Claude Van Dam classic Kickboxer in it's premise. Dan Fogler stars as Randy Daytona, a down and out ping pong player who must train with a mysterious Asian master so he can enter an illegal, underground table tennis tournament. Every win in the tournament brings him one step closer to Feng (Christopher Walken), the man who killed his father, and also, to vengeance.

If you are not familiar with Dan Fogler, you might think that he is just a "Jack Black-type" the producer got on the cheap. But Fogler is a TONY Award-winning actor, known most for his role as William Morris Barfee in Broadway's The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. So, he got acting chops.

Another reason to see the film is the fact that it's written by Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, the creative minds behind Reno 911 and former members of The State, one of the best comedy troupes of the 1990s.

2. Halloween (3, 472 Theaters, Rated R): The original Halloween was one of the first slasher films, was one of the most well received of the genre, spawned numerous sequels and served as inspiration for the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street franchises.

So, it was only a matter of time before it was remade. I'm not saying that it needed to be remade, only that it was bound to be remade, eventually.

If you believe that the Horror genre could be home to a distinct cinematic vision, then Rob Zombie is a director with one. His work on House of 1,000 Corpse and The Devil's Rejects were original takes on Horror and have acquired Zombie a fanbase.

So, we are almost guaranteed that Rob Zombie's take on Halloween will be unique. But we have to ask, as we do with all remakes, will it be better than the original. And will Zombie's unique take separate it enough from the John Carpenter version.

4, Death Sentence (1,822 Theaters, Rated R): A man sees his son killed by a gang. When the gang is put on trial, the prosecution gives them a plea deal of 6 months. This does not make the father happy and he decides to inflict his own punishment by tracking the gang members down and killing them.

A man disenchanted by the legal system taking the law into his own hands? That sounds a lot like Death Wish, doesn't it?

Well, it should. Death Sentence is loosely adapted from a 1975 novel by the same name from Death Wish author Brian Garfield.

How loose is the adaptation? Well, the novel was a more direct sequel to the Death Wish novel and followed the main character Paul Benjamin to Chicago. According to Wikipedia, it followed Benjamin as he continued his vigilantism. No family, no gang, no dead son.

This movie is also marks a departure for Saw director James Wan, moving from the horror genre to crime thrillers.

So, what about predictions, first let's take a look at what I predicted for last week:

1. Superbad
   
2. War
   
3. Nanny Diaries
   
4. Rush Hour 3
   
5. The Bourne Ultimatum.

And here's how it really was:

1. Superbad
   
2. The Bourne Ultimatum
   
3. Rush Hour 3
   
4. Mr. Bean's Holiday
   
5. War

A weak week, performance wise, from the new releases. Mr. Bean's Holiday did better than I expected, but nowhere near #1. This makes me 44 for 85 and an accuracy percentage of 51%.

What do I think of this week?

1. Halloween
   
2. Superbad
   
3. Balls of Fury
   
4. The Bourne Ultimatum
   
5. Rush Hour 3

I think Halloween might pull in enough for the top spot, but Superbad will be able to hold on to the second spot. What do you think?

A different version of this post appeared on the FilmBuffOnline website.

Holy Bad Headline Writing!

I get a bunch of RSS feeds on my home page, along with alert e-mails, on the topic of comics. There is an article that has come across my hard drive more than once that I feel the need to comment on.

This is the headline in question:

Holy plastic slab! Untouchable comic books

Encasing them in plastic increases their value, but at a terrible price.

Clicking the title should take you to the article in question.

Now, alow me to air my greivances with the article.

1. The Title: People, people, please. The Batman TV show was 40 years ago. Okay? It is no longer the most recognizable comic book representation in the mainstream media. Is it my fault that the Spider-Man movies didn't come up with any catchphrases as catchy as "Holy this!" or "Holy that!". No!

It's not that I have a problem with the Batman TV show. It's just that I wish these writers and editors would use some originality when it came to thinking up titles for comic related articles.

 

2, The Topic: CGC has been around for, what, about 5 years? At least? At any rate, it's nothing new. I don't know if the preson who wrote this is a freelacer or on staff, but this article smells of desperation, if not filler. "Hey! Do you know what crazy things they are doing with comic books? They're sealing it in plastic! How wacky! Wait a minute. There could be a story in this!"

3. Write the article to support the headline/tagline: Yes, by reading the headline, you'd think this would be an examination of the very real discussion in the comic book world about the value of slabbing your books. Namely, the criticism that comics should be read, not encased in plastic. That's what it seems the focus of the article will be, right?

Well, they do discuss the issue in two paragraphs with interviews with two people: a retailer and artist Frank Miller. Both have dismissive things to say about the topic. The rest of the article describes the process and is an interview with CGC;s Steven Borock, who, by default, acts as the pro side of the arguement. Oh, and there's one small, non -commital statement from another dealer. 

But where are the interviews with that fans? Where are the interviews with the people who will not buy slabbed books and those will but nothing else? I mean, if you are making the point that slabbing is "a terrible price" to pay, shouldn't you make that the driving point of your article? Or, at least, provide more evidence of it?

Improvements to NYCC announced for 2008.

Let me just say, that I, like Heidi MacDonald, do root for the New York Comic Con. She calls the convention "her backyard convention". Well, I don't live in New York, but I do live only a 40 minute train ride outside of it. So for me, it's not a "backyard" con but "a few streets over" con.

And I really want a great con, one one the level of the San Diego or Wizard Conventions with only a train to ride, not an airplane.

But, in my experience, NYCC hasn't become that. I aired my grievances here and here, so I won't re-air them here. But I do want to talk about the article about the NYCC at Publisher's Weekly.

In the article, show organizer Greg Topalian announce that he will be making an effort to add more indie publishers such as Fantagraphics and Drawn & Quarterly. I say all well and good. Some might raise concern about a conflict of interest with the MoCCA fest but I think NYC is big enough to support and Indie only event and to also have the indies at NYCC.

The article also states that the convention will increase in floor space by about 50% and there will be three entrances and the press and professional guests will have their own way in. Also, there will be more staff on the floor to answer questions and hand out maps.

On paper, this would help some of the situations I spoke about in the above reviews. But there is still more to be done. The floor staff needs to be better educated. Crowd control needs to be loosened. Three entrances are good, as long as they are used to the most effect. Last year, they had two entrances, two big archways about twenty feet wide. They only had one open for guests and had people line up in a pen to essentially enter the entrance in a straight line. This is what the pass looks like:

 

Convention pass

Have a few volunteers or security guards at the front of each entrance. Have them look at the passes. It clearly says what type of pass they have. If they don't have a pass or have the wrong pass, don't let them in. If their pass is okay, let them in. Yes, there are a lot of people going to the con. But there are a lot of people going to the Wizard World cons and that is the way they do it.

That way would be better than having everyone stand in line, make their way through mazes, or have to get wristbands each day to get in.

Like I said, I really want the NYCC to be the biggest con in the land. It's good, but it definitely needs improvement.

 

New Guiding Lines column up!

There is a new Guiding Lines column up. This week I cover Teen Titans #50, The Last Fantastic Four Story, Brit #1, Amazons Attack #6, Miriam #1, Action Comics #855, The Mice Templar #1. Check it out!

 

Bill

Things I learned by watching the ads during the Steelers/Eagles game.

• NBC is the new SCI-FI Network: Let's see, there's Chuck, the computer tech who gets embroiled into a spy caper when some information he sees is "downloaded' into his brain, you have Heroes, which is about superheroes, Bionic Woman, which is about a female cyborg, and Journeyman, aka Quantum Leap 2007, about a man who travels through time helping people out. I could very well have found a new favorite TV network.
• The drunk driving PSA makes me want to drink: Only to wash the utter stupidity of it out of my mind. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't shown every half-hour. You know the ad, three guys are driving erratically, we close up on the car and the car is filled with a liquid representing beer, a martini, and, perhaps, some fruit girly drink. They of course are pulled over, and when the cops open their door, the alcoholic beverage spills out. The idea is that people could tell when you drive drunk. We got the point when the cars swayed across all the lanes of traffic. We don't need the special effects guy to make the car water tight and fill it up with beer colored water. That is stupid and irritating. The point being made isn't "wow, when you are drunk, it's like you beer is filled with whatever you drank", it's "wow, how did they do that?". Kind of defeats the purpose of teh ad, doesn't it? Oh, and the looks on the guys faces when they are arrested are goofy too.
• I'm glad that Elvis is dead: Because I don't want him to have to go through the torture and agony of watching that "Viva Viagra" ad. Rumor has it that Elvis once shot out a TV set when Robert Goulet was on it. If this is true and Elvis was alive today, Best Buy would be coming to his house everyday and he might have had to move up to automatic weapons. Because, as my wife says, " he wouldn't want to listen to a bunch of old guys singing about how Viagra fix their winkies." 

I have made Wikipedia!!! (and other stuff)

I have a secret shame. I google my own name.

I know, I know. It is egotistical. But I do look to see how far my writing has made it.

Well, I made it into Wikipedia (and not by my own doing either).

Apparently, my PopMatters review of All-Star Batman 1-3 has been referenced in Frank Miller's Wikipedia page.  I don't know if this is a sign of how far I've come as a writer or proof of all the bad things they say about Wikipedia (I mean, if they use my writing in an entry...)

Kidding! Kidding! I am honored (and I swear that I did not put it there myself!)

But I haven't checked my own name in a while, because my post on Jenna Jameson's new comic from Virgin caused quite a stir about three weeks ago. I made blog@Newsarama, which was more of a "this is what they are saying" post than anything else. But it also hit the blog of someone named Nenena, who takes issue with teh supposed rampant sexism in my above post (to be fair, I'm not the only one she focuses on)

Of course, she/he takes what I said out of context. For those of you clicking the link above, the section she/he quotes topic #3, the one mocking Virgin for hiring a porn star to write a mainstream book. Only she/he removes the first two sentences, making it look like I am simply just diminishing Jameson's intelligence for being a porn star. "Sigh", indeed.

At least I come out looking better than some of the other people she/he links to. (And since I have already been accused of sexism, I just want everyone to know I am only using the she/he thing because I am not 100% certain if Nenena is a man or a woman and I don not want to be insulting.)   

 

 

Friday Night Fights; Mr. Hyde versus Cap's Shield, a fight in two rounds

...or why I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Geoff Johns.

And, when Bahlactus talks, everyone listens.

So, this week's FNF comes with a history lesson. Just imagine you are watching a fight on ESPN Classic instead of ESPN 2.

The main action comes for Avengers Vol. 3 No. 57 (472), cover dated October 2002, which was the first issue of Geoff Johns' run on the title :

 

FNF-Mr. Hyde vs caps shield round two

Pretty good one-two punch Vision and Captain America's shield laid on bad old Mr. Hyde (who, in bonus awesomeness was on FIRE at the time.). But I want to bring your attention to a panel, and one piece of dialogue in said panel, that made me squeal with glee!:

 

FNF Cap's comment

The crappy yellow highlighting job is all me.

So, what about this particular piece of dialougue made me squeal like a little girl? Because it reference this scene that took place over 15 years earlier in Avengers Vol. 1, No. 275, cover dated January 1987:

 

FNF-Mr. Hyde vs caps shield round one

And remember it he did!

Yeah, I had my geeky fanboy moment there. I remember the later scene from the halcyon days of my youth. The fact the Johns would toss in a little throw away line referencing that scene, and in a kick-ass context to boot, made me swoon over him as a writer.

Always remember, when it comes to being schooled, Always Bet on Bahlactus.

QotD: Have, Need, Want

What do you have, what do you need and what do you want?
Submitted by Miss Scotch.

After the last post, I decided to lighten up a bit before I hit the friday night fights.

What do I have? A lot of comic books and a great wife.

What do I need? More paying writing work and what I have with my wife to last forever.

What do I want? More comics and what I have with my wife to last forever.

The O.J. Simpson book debacle.

News today of The Goldmans and Denise Brown appearing on Oprah on September 13th got me thinking about the whole "If I Did It" fiasco. Several other times along this long and windy path the scandal took I was compelled to write something about it. Now, I feel I just have to.

First of all, the idea of the book was even thought of being publish I find repugnant. Here, you have a man accused of a double homicide, found innocent by a jury of his peers, writing a book on how he might have killed them if he actually did. Am I the only one who sees a problem with it? If he did it or if he didn't do it, he, and the book publishers, are exploiting a horrible loss of life for a profit. If O.J. is guilty, he got away with murder and is making a buck of it over a decade later (although, O.J. might not have had that money for long" 

Judith Reagan's defense of the project, summed up here, essentially said that she is publishing the book so O.J. could finally confess his crimes and his victims, and all victims of spousal abuse, could have some peace and closure.

This is the stupidest defense of all time. IT WS NOT A CONFESSION! If the book was a confession, it would be titled "I Did It" not "If I Did It". That "If" adds plausible deniablilty to the book and allows O.J. to keep, however slim it might be, an air of innocence. The "If" gives O.J. an out.

So, public outcry is so great that book was cancelled. I thought that the case was closed, and the whole thing was over and done with.

Then, it was announced last month that a bankruptcy court gave rights to the book to the Goldman family. You'd think the family bought the rights so no other company would pick it up and try and publish it, sparing the family grief and sorrow.

Instead, the Goldmans are going to try to publish the book and try to get a TV or Film project done in efforts to recoup some of the $33.5 million dollars in damages they were awarded in the civil case against Simpson.

Oh, and to get justice for their son Ron, as per this quote from Goldman at the time of they were awarded the rights:

"After 13 years of trying to get some justice for Ron, today's the first time that we had any sense of seeing some light at the end of the tunnel."

Justice? Justice? How is publishing this book justice?

Wasn't it enough justice when the wrongful death trial was decided in your favor?

Wasn't it enough justice when O.J.'s plans to get the books on shelves failed?

Isn't it justice enough to sit on the rights so the book will never see the light of day?

Goldman wants us to think that he is hurting Simpson by publishing the book, that he will be making money of the rights so O.J. doesn't. That's just stupid. O.J. wasn't making anything off it anyway. And I doubt that anybody would have fought for the rights if Goldman didn't scarf them up. The book was dead and toxic. I'd argue that if anybody besides Goldman got the rights, the book still would not see the light of day.

If, somehow, that by publishing this book that the case against Simpson would be reopened and he might actually be convicted of the slayings, then I would say that Goldman's justice argument might hold more water. But that can't happen due to double jeopardy and the pesky "If" in the original title.

So, what this all comes out looking like a ploy for the Goldman's to get money. Perhaps they truly believe that they are getting justice against Simpson by doing this, but in reality, they're not. Is it a shame that the Goldmans are having such a hard time collecting the funds from Simpson? Yes. And if there was something I could do to fix that, I would. But the money they make after the portion of the proceeds goes to the Ron Goldman Foundation for Justice will assumedly go right in their pockets. And that looks like they are after financial gain more than anything.  

I hope Oprah asks the hard questions on the 13th. I'd like to find out what really is going on here.

QotD: Drivin' & Talkin'

Should driving while talking on a cell phone be outlawed? 
Submitted by Soup.  

Yeah. It is in NY state. Not that people still don't do it anyway.

More fun with the Atari 2600 label maker!

Yes, I have already had some fun with the Atari 2600 Label Maker:

 

Gates rants atari

But Dave of Dave's Longbox has inspired me to get even more goofy with it. Here we go!

 

Jane Austin AF

DESCRIPTION: Mr. Darcy has been kidnapped!!! Now you, as Jane Austin, must lead a team of highly trained commandos on a top secret mission! Armed with only a stunning wit and a mastery of the English language, can you even hope to over come the forces of the evil Dr. Conventional Social Mores of the Time!

 

Paris hilton

DESCRIPTION: This is the perfect game for people who think video games are too hard. What happens is Paris Hilton will do something stupid and the players will mock her. Extra points go to the first player who makes her cry or has her mother scream at you.

 

Celebrity knitting

DESCRIPTION: Can you make mittens faster than Jack Nicholson? Can you make a sweater faster than Russell Crowe? Can you make an toaster cozy faster than Will Smith? You will find out in this game as you go head to head with Hollywood's finest to see who is the best knitter in the land! YARN NOT INCLUDED.

 

Saving ll

DESCRIPTION: Co-sponsored by People and US magazines, the goal of this game is to save Lindsay Lohan's career and or life. You can play as either her rehab counselor, her agent or the LAPD. Your mission? Keep her away from her wacky parents and out of any kind of trouble.

 

Recreational gardening

DESCRIPTION: Do you like gardening, but hate getting your hands dirty, opening seed packets or even going outside? Then this game is for you! Now, from the comfort of your own home, you can experience the thrill of outdoor gardening with out ever leaving the house! No muss, no fuss!

 

Bush Atari

DESCRIPTION: In this game, you will be given a series of simple tasks and your mission will be to do them with out looking stupid. Some of the tasks include: eating a pretzel, leaving a room, and talking. For bonus points, you will be asked not to get us locked into a neverending land war in the Middle East.

 

Lolcats

DESCRIPTION: the LOLcats trend is sweeping the nation! Now, anyone can do it! In this game, players will be given a series of adorable animal pictures. The objective is to write the cutest caption ever! Extra points given to using the "perfect voice", wittiest reference to the situation, and the most heinous mangling of the human language.

 

COVERING MY BUTT: This blog post is meant to be taken in a humorous light and is intended as satire. Any similarities to real games is purely coincidental. All photos copyright their respective copyright holders.

New Lowdown article up at Broken Frontier.

Did you want to know more and Eric Powell's Goon series? If the answer is yes, read my article about it at Broken Frontier!

This week's movie releases.

1. The Nanny Diaries (2,629 Theaters, Rated PG-13): A movie featuring a spunky young woman in a demeaning job answering to a demanding boss adapted from a popular chick lit novel? It's no stretch of the imagination that the Weinstein Group is hoping that a little of last year's Devil Wears Prada audience with this one.

And who can blame them? Devil Wears Prada was a surprise hit, making over $124 Million domestically. This proves there is an audience for this type of story.

This is a pretty big theater pull for a movie of this type. Will the investment in screens be justified? Will the Prada audiences be more turned off than attracted to the similarities?

The cast is first rate. I am a big fan of Scarlett Johansson. I keep waiting for her to get that one really good role that her acting chops deserve. Laura Linney is also a good actress. She's no Meryl Streep, but she's good. And I consider Chris Evans, next to Michael Chiklis, the best part of the Fantastic Four movies.

2. War (2,277 Theaters, Rated R): Most TV ads for this movie tell us that it is about a law enforcement officer seeking vengeance against and assassin. Maybe it's just me, but I find it hard to tell which actor is playing which in those ads (although the trailer I'm including now makes it a little more clear.)

For the record, Jason Statham is playing an FBI agent and Jet Li is playing the assassin. I hope everyone can rest easier now. i know I will.

This movie seems to me to be like a glossy Grindhouse flick for the MTV generation. It's a simple premise, shouldn't be to hard to execute, and the final verdict on how good the movie is will be how awesome the inevitable final fight scene between Li and Statham is.

Both actors are skilled martial artists and it should take much effort to have the final confrontation be great. But it should last about 20 minutes, at least. Any less, and the movie is in trouble.

3. Mr. Bean's Holiday (1,713 Theaters, Rated G): Yes, that rating is right. The movie is rated G. You do not see that all that often nowadays.

Ah, Bean. What can I say about Bean.

Can I say that I don't like Bean?

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't the biggest Blackadder fan in the world but I did like what I saw of Rowan Atkinson in that. But there is just something about Bean that gives me a pain deep in the pit of my stomach.

And I realize that I am in the minority here. There are people out there who love, I mean looooove, Mr. Bean. They are treating this movie like Star Wars fans treated Episode One.

And I don't know exactly why I don't like Bean. I guess it's just the whole "stupidity piled on top of stupidity" thing that really gets on my nerves. It's funny up to a point, but, in my opinion, Bean goes well over that point. Well, different strokes for different folks.

4. Resurrecting the Champ (1,602 Theaters, Rated PG-13): This one is the tale of the two TV ads. I have seen two ads for this film on TV. One plays it as a tear-jerking, Oscar-caliber, life-reaffirming underdog story. The other, plays it as an Oscar-caliber, Shattered Glass-style tale of journalistic malfeasance, that what ever Samuel L. Jackson's story is, Josh Harnett's character made up to get ahead.

Which one is it? Well, it is based on a true story. If you want to spoil the movie, you could probably find out after about a half hour of googling.

Either way, it has the look of a movie that is shouting "Hey! Oscar voters! Look at me!" Not saying that's a bad thing. I think Samuel L. Jackson, when he's not making stupid decisions in choosing roles, can be a great actor. I still argue that he was robbed of an Oscar for his role in Pulp Fiction.

Another point about this movie, Cold Case's Kathryn Morris appears to be playing Josh Hartnett's wife or girlfriend in this one, even though, per IMDB.com, she is at least 9 years older than him. This is refreshing because most times in Hollywood, it's the other way around.

Now, on to the predictions.

This was what I predicted as last week's Top 5:

1. Superbad
   
2. Invasion
   
3. Rush Hour 3
   
4. The Bourne Ultimatum
   
5. The Simpsons Movie

And this is how it actually was:

1. Superbad
   
2. Rush Hour 3
   
3. The Bourne Ultimatum
   
4. The Simpsons Movie
   
5. Invasion.

1 for 4. I had all five right, I just made a mistake on how well Invasion would do. This makes me 43 for 80 after 16 weeks and brings my prediction percentage down to 53%.

It will probably go down even lower this week. Here are my picks.

1. Superbad
   
2. War
   
3. Nanny Diaries
   
4. Rush Hour 3
   
5. The Bourne Ultimatum.

It's a tricky week this week. Any of the movies could be in the top 5. And, while I personally don't think so, any of them could be number one. And it is quite possible none of them would make the top 5. So my prediction this week is just a stab in the dark.

What do you think?

Bush references Vietnam in reference to withdrawing from Iraq.

Read about it here.

See, Karl Rove is gone and SEE what he does? Man.

So, is the point he's trying to make that Iraq will be like Vietnam if we leave? But wouldn't it be more like Vietnam if we stay? If it's going to be like Vietnam anyway, I say we leave.

The Countdown conundrum

A recent interview with Dan DiDio at Newsarama has caused a stir along the internets. Former DC employee Valerie D’Orazio has spoken on it, and so has Heidi MacDonald. And now me.

Here is a blurb from DiDio that Heidi printed in her blog that I want to touch on...

"The channels that are carrying a lot of the reaction that I’m seeing are coming from the stores themselves and from fans that I’m at conventions with. I attend multiple conventions throughout the course of the year, and I’ve gotten a very positive reaction to what’s going on.

Given that there seems to be a very vocal – and I don’t know its size – group of fans online that is counter to that hasn’t really affected sales at all. I find it humorous that information that comes to me from online is erroneous in regards to the actual sales figures. I find it humorous that certain retailers decide to make blatant statements about how they’re going to be striking back at the book by making returns, when in fact the portion of books that they’re actually returning is less than 0.01% of the books that we sold.

The reality is that the sales are there, the strength is there, and I have a lot of faith in regards to how the series works and how it’s moving forward. From my standpoint, there were stumbles along the way, just as there were stumbles with 52, but the best part about it is that we were able to sit down with the talent and figure out how we would be able to make course corrections during the series, which we did. We recreated the pacing, and we put the focus back on Countdown again, which is what it is about. It was going too far abroad in regards to making sure everything lined up perfectly, and when you do that, something was going to be serviced improperly. I want to make sure that Countdown is serviced properly. Countdown, as I said, is the spine of the DC Universe, but it works better if it stands on its own, rather than stands on the strength of everything around it. I feel very confident in where the series is going, I’m very excited about where the story is going, and the best part about it is that it’s where we thought it was always going to be, so we haven’t had to change that much along the way"

Would it be wrong to sum up these paragraphs as  DiDio saying "NOTHING IS WRONG! WE ARE FIXING IT!"

First off, people are not just going to come up to DiDio's face and say Countdown sucks. That's what the internet is for. So all that DiDio is hearing is sunshine and roses doesn't surprise me.

Now, about the sales. Here are the sales estimate charts for May and June courtesy of CBGXtra.

Name	Rank	Issue	Price	Company	Sales	Date
Countdown (Vol. 2)	19	51	$2.99	DC	91,054	May-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	20	50	$2.99	DC	83,725	May-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	22	49	$2.99	DC	81,458	May-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	25	48	$2.99	DC	79,784	May-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	17	47	$2.99	DC	77,456	Jun-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	19	46	$2.99	DC	76,315	Jun-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	21	45	$2.99	DC	74,871	Jun-07
Countdown (Vol. 2)	22	44	$2.99	DC	73,925	Jun-07

 

I cleaned it up in excel a bit, but the figures are accurate.

What the numbers show here is a steady decline. Now, I don't have access to July or August, so there might be a bump later. But sales declined by 17,129 copies, 124 copies more that the June sales from DC's Blue Beetle (great series, by the way) between the first issue (#51) and the last one in June (#44).

Could this be the natural attrition of sales that all new series go through? Yes. Could this be fans leaving the series in droves? Yes.

Don't forget, these sales figures are based on retailer orders and do not represent the number of issues fans buy. The issues could be sitting in retailers back issue bins. However,it also should be said that issues #50, $49, and #48 have received 2nd printings.

But sales declines usually take a while to become evident. Not every issue of Countdown is sold to people who have hold lists at stores. Some, perhaps many, are impulse buys buy browsers who pick one up with their order. Retailers order enough to accomidate these browsers and if these browsers stop picking up the series of the shelves, it takes time for the retailers to adjust their orders.

So, I think it is a bit too soon for DiDio to use sales to refute the size of the Countdown naysayers. Only time will tell who is right and who is wrong.

I want to comment on another quote from DiDio about the number of crossovers:

"...we at DC Comics produce a certain number of comics on a monthly/yearly basis. We are not producing any more books than we have in any other year or the previous year. We have chosen to produce books that, we believe, can capitalize on the success of things that we have going on with the hope that they sell better than books that don’t capitalize on things that are going on.

It’s very simple – no different than the logic that any other company would employ when they have something that is successful. You want to build on that success. Dark Horse has Buffy and Star Wars – they know they can put out more Buffy and Star Wars because that’s successful to them. The same thing with Marvel and Civil War and World War Hulk - they put out more product tied to events that are successful in the hopes that the product tied in to that will be successful as well. We are building off of our successes right now – we are not creating additional product, we’re not flooding the market. We are just replacing the books that we feel would not sell as well as the books that we hope will sell well."

And if I were to sum these paragraphs, it would "ALL DC WANTS IS YOUR MONEY!"

Perhaps that is a bit unfair. But really, isn't what DiDio is saying, "Sorry fans of Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis! Instead of devoting time to promote them, letting them find their fan base, or fixing them so they get more readers, we're going to cancel them and publish a passel of Countdown tie-ins that fans of that series will have to buy to get a grip on the story. We know you're pissed, but don't worry, we'll restart all of those titles later on, do the same halfassed job getting them off the ground, and then cancel them again."

Let me just say this. 52's least selling issue sold more than Countdown's best, and there was only one spin off series from that (and then only because they needed to shoe-horn in the continuity changes 52 didn't have time for). Sure the whole "One Year Later" thing might have something to do with that, but they could have had 10 tie-in series for it if they tried hard enough.   

Reasons why there is DVD Piracy, First in a Series

So, I am a big fan of Twin Peaks. I have every episode on tape. I loved it.

I bought the first season on DVD either at the same time, or just after, I bought my first DVD player. It is legendary for being missing the pilot episode, arguably the best episode  Yes, I was chagrined, but I figured that they would release the pilot on a separate DVD or something.

Earlier this year brought us the second season of Twin Peaks on DVD. Still no pilot episode. But I still naively thought that the pilot would come out on a separate DVD or something.

They went with "Or Something".And that "or something" is

 

Twin Peaks - The Definitive Gold Box Edition (Seasons 1 & 2, Pilot)

Yes, they have come out with a definitive edition. A definitive GOLD BOX edition to be exact. As you can see, it has both seasons and the pilot.

This is just wonderful. Now, if I want to get my grubby paws on the pilot. I have to pay a MSRP of $99.99, twice what I paid for BOTH of the previous season sets COMBINED,.

And people wonder why there is DVD piracy?

Let's not parce words here, stealing is stealing. But can you see where DVD Pirates are feeling justified in what they do? Isn't what Paramount Home Video doing a form of thievery? Making hardcore fans shell out another $100 just to get the pilot (well, two versions of the pilot, the domestic and the foreign versions) and a few more bells and whistles? 

Will I get this? Yeah, probably. But not right when it comes out. I'll put it on my birthday/christmas list in the hopes that my wife will pick it up. And if she doesn't then I'll wait until the price drops or it goes on sale.

My Space Ho-Train update.

So, today, as I just logged in to the computer, I had 8 new spam friend requests. 7 from the ones that sent me the 20 yesterday, and one new one, but still spam.

I will keep you updated, if only to annoy you with as much as it annoys me.

I Rant About the DC and Marvel November Solicitations, Part 2

COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS #25-22
Story by Paul Dini
Breakdowns by Keith Giffen
25 script by Adam Beechen and art by Carlos Magno
24 script by Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti and art by Al Barrionuevo
23 script by Paul Dini and art by Tom Derenick
22 script by Tony Bedard and art by Manuel Garcia
Covers 25, 24 and 22 by Claudio Castellini; Cover 23 by J.G. Jones
The countdown continues with a new name and even bigger thrills! Karate Kid makes it to the bunker in Blüdhaven and confronts both Firestorm and the Atomic Knights! Jimmy Olsen enslaved on Apokolips! Mary Marvel not enslaved on Apokolips! The Monitor, Jason Todd and Donna Troy home in on Ray Palmer's trail! Desaad takes control! Lex Luthor kidnapped - but by whom? Trickster and Piper: One will live?one will die! And Mister Mxyzptlk explains it all! Plus, more DC VILLAINS origin backup stories, including: Desaad and Mr. Mxyzptlk!
COUNTDOWN 25 on sale November 7 o COUNTDOWN 24 on sale November 14 COUNTDOWN 23 on sale November 21 o COUNTDOWN 22 on sale November 28 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• A name change! That will bring back the readers! And crossovers! Lots of crossovers! Let's count them, shall we?

COUNTDOWN TO MYSTERY #3
Written by Steve Gerber and Matt Sturges
Art by Justiniano & Walden Wong and Stephen Segovia
Cover by Gene Ha
Eclipso continues her maniacal mission to corrupt the heroes of the DCU! Find out who's next in her path! Plus, Doctor Fate enters a simple storefront that introduces him to a woman who will change his life!
On sale November 21 o 3 of 8 o 48 pg, FC, $3.99 US

• One! One Countdown tie-in! HA HA HA!

COUNTDOWN TO ADVENTURE #4
Written by Adam Beechen and Justin Gray
Art by Eddy Barrows & Julio Ferreiro
and Fabrizio Fiorentino
Cover by Eddy Barrows & Oclair Albert
In this issue's lead story, the Healers have arrived to "sterilize" the planet Earth and stop the contamination that's plaguing the planet. But what does this mean to Starfire and Animal Man?
And in the backup, Forerunner battles magic versions of DCU heroes on the Conjuror's world. Meet Batmage, master of the Dark Arts, Kal-El, wielder of Kryptonian magics, and Lady Flash, keeper of the Speed Force.
On sale November 28 o 4 of 8 o 48 pg, FC, $3.99 US

• Two! Two Countdown tie-ins! HA HA HA!

COUNTDOWN PRESENTS: THE SEARCH FOR RAY PALMER: GOTHAM BY GASLIGHT #1
Written by Brian Augustyn
Art by Greg Tocchini
Cover by Dustin Nguyen
The quest heats up as one of the Challengers of the Beyond becomes an enemy. Plus, could finding Ray Palmer prove fatal?
For a signed edition, please see the Dynamic Forces section of Previews.
On sale November 21 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Three! Three Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA!

COUNTDOWN PRESENTS: THE SEARCH FOR RAY PALMER: RED RAIN #1
Written by Peter Johnson
Art and cover by Kelley Jones
Will the Challengers of the Beyond become legends on a world ruled by vampires? Or will one of them become a threat to the rest of the team?
On sale November 7 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Four! Four Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA! (Although getting Kelley Jones to do the art was nice)

COUNTDOWN PRESENTS: LORD HAVOK AND THE EXTREMISTS #2
Written by Frank Tieri
Art and cover by Liam Sharp
It's the battle you knew was coming: Lord Havok and his Extremists vs. the Challengers of the Beyond! COUNTDOWN's Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy and Jason Todd guest star! Plus, a peek at the secret origin of the Extremist known as Gorgon!
On sale November 28 o 2 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Five! Five Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA!

DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #3
Written by Jim Starlin
Art and covers by Starlin & Matt Banning
The carnage of the Fourth World continues as more New Gods die in this COUNTDOWN tie-in! Who will be the next victims? Who - or what - is responsible for so many deaths? How is Darkseid connected to them? And will Superman, Orion and Mr. Miracle be able to uncover Darkseid's schemes before it's too late?
On sale November 28 o 3 of 8 o 40 pg, FC, $3.50 US

• Six! Six Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA!

GOTHAM UNDERGROUND #2
Written by Frank Tieri
Art by J. Calafiore & Jack Purcell
Cover by J. Calafiore
A COUNTDOWN and SALVATION RUN tie-in! The power struggle for control of Gotham's crime network continues as a new player challenges Penguin for leadership. Meanwhile, Batman goes deep undercover. Plus, guest appearances by Nightwing, Riddler, Mr. Zsasz, Ventriloquist and Scarface!
On sale November 28 o 2 of 9 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Seven! Seven Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA!

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #42
Written by Alan Burnett
Art and cover by Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolfs
Batman's not happy, Superman's being controlled, Bekka's hot for Batman, and Darkseid succeeds! It's the final chapter of Alan Burnett's epic "Torment." If you're reading COUNTDOWN, you can't miss this issue!

• Eight! Eight Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA! (Hey! It counts!)

COUNTDOWN SPECIAL: JIMMY OLSEN 80-PAGE GIANT
Written by Jack Kirby
Art by Kirby, Mike Royer and Vince Colletta
Cover by Ryan Sook
Collecting SUPERMAN'S PAL JIMMY OLSEN #136 and #147-148, featuring Jimmy's dealings with the DNAlien and Cadmus!
On sale November 7 o 80 pg, FC, $4.99 US

• Nine! Nine Countdown Tie-ins! HA HA HA! Yes, this episode has been brought to you by the letter D, the letter C and the symbol $

GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY #2
Written by Judd Winick
Art and cover by Cliff Chiang
Variant cover by Chiang
Black Canary and Speedy head to Amazon Island, where a job offer from Athena seems to be the perfect opportunity for
Dinah to focus some of her frustrations over what's happened to Green Arrow.
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers that may be ordered separately. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (featuring a cover by Cliff Chiang) ordered, retailers may order one Variant Edition (also featuring a cover by Chiang). Please see the Order Form for more details.
On sale November 14 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• What happened to Green Arrow!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO GREEN ARROW!!! TELL ME!!! Ooh, if the kill him, they are going to be in trouble!

GREEN LANTERN #25
Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Ivan Reis, Ethan Van Sciver & Oclair Albert
Variant cover by Gary Frank
This is it! The most talked-about storyline of the summer, "The Sinestro Corps War," concludes in this double-sized anniversary issue! Why does Sinestro believe he has won? How will Hal Jordan stop his greatest enemy? What is the truth behind the prophecy of "The Blackest Night"? Where will the end results of this battle take the Green Lantern Corps? What is the bizarre fate of the Anti-Monitor? Why has Earth been assigned so many Green Lanterns? Learn all the secrets! Witness all the battles! Prepare yourself for the startling ending of the greatest epic in the history of Green Lantern!
Retailers please note: This issue will feature two covers that may be ordered separately. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (featuring a cover by Ivan Reis & Oclair Albert, retailers may order one Variant Edition (featuring a cover by Gary Frank). See the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale November 28 o 64 pg, FC, $4.99 US

• Wait a minute. Sinestro has the Cyborg Superman--the man who helped destroy DC's version of Los Angeles, the Anti-Monitor--the being that killed the pre-Crisis Supergirl and fought almost every pre-Crisis DC character to a stand still, and Superboy-Prime--the guy who beat the crap out of the current Superman and killed the Earth-2 Superman (the man who defeated the Anti-Monitor), and HE STILL LOST? Wh-wh-wh-what?

ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN, THE BOY WONDER #8
Written by Frank Miller
Art and cover by Jim Lee & Scott Williams
Variant wraparound cover by Miller
Part 1 of Frank Miller's & Jim Lee's two-fisted thrill ride ends here, yet it's only just begun! The Dark Knight links a brutal psychopath to the Flying Grayson's murder, and the streets of Gotham run red with terror! Dick Grayson is reborn to wage war on crime! The newly banded Justice League fans out, trying to catch a bat!
Retailers please note: This issue will feature two covers that may be ordered separately. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (featuring a cover by Jim Lee & Scott Williams), retailers may order one Variant Edition (featuring a cover by Frank Miller). See the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale November 28 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Part 1 is ending!?! You mean it actually started!?!

WONDER WOMAN #14
Written by Gail Simone
Art and cover by Terry Dodson & Rachel Dodson
Variant cover by Michael Golden
An electrifying new era begins for the world's greatest superheroine! Gail Simone (BIRDS OF PREY, SECRET SIX) joins the phenomenal art team of Terry and Rachel Dodson for what promises to be one of the most exciting Wonder Woman stories ever told!
What exactly is The Circle, and what deadly secret do they hold about Diana's birth? What familiar face from Wonder Woman's past returns with a mission to spy on Special Agent Diana Prince? Why is the Department of Metahuman Affairs on a collision course with the wounded remnants of the Society of Super-Villains? You won't want to miss any of this story that spans the globe and shakes Diana to her core!
Retailers please note: This issue will feature two covers that may be ordered separately. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (featuring a cover by Terry Dodson & Rachel Dodson), retailers may order one Variant Edition (featuring a cover by Michael Golden). See the Previews Order Form for more information. This story was previously solicited to appear in WONDER WOMAN #13.
On sale November 14 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• The pop DC is giving Gail Simone taking over the book makes my heart sing. I just had to say that.

 

I rant about the DC and Marvel November solicitations, part 1.

This worked so well last month I decided to do it again. I'm starting with Marvel:

ULTIMATE ORIGINS #1 (of 6)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Penciled by BUTCH GUICE
Cover by SIMONE BIANCHI
Variant Cover by TBA
This is it: The story that finally reveals the conspiracies behind the entire Ultimate universe! "Everything is connected." That was the mysterious statement uttered by Bruce Banner to Spider-Man when they first met. Now it's time to discover the jaw-dropping secrets that men have fought and died to protect. From the dark days of World War II to the frightening present, journey through history to learn what's really behind the Super Soldier and Weapon X programs–and how heroes such as Captain America, Nick Fury and Wolverine have more in common than codenames and costumes. The dream team of Brian Michael Bendis and Butch Guice unite for the first time for the Ultimate series of the year! Plus: Check out that cover by Simone Bianchi!
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• "The dream team of Brian Michael Bendis and Butch Guice..."? Bendis I can see. He's probly half of a lot of people's dream team. But Butch Guice? He most recently of the soon to be cancelled Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis? And before that of the now defunct CrossGen comics? I like Guice's work, but, let's get real. George Perez or Steve McNiven he's not. Maybe is trying to go with a whole "Rock 'N Roll High School" thing here. That movie treated the Ramones like they were the Beatles. Maybe that is what Marvel is trying with Guice?
• BTW, TBA is one of my favorite, up and coming artists.

ULTIMATES SAGA
As told by Tony Stark (with help from C.B. CEBULSKI and MINDY OWENS)
Based on stories by MARK MILLAR
Art by BRYAN HITCH
New Cover Artwork by MARK BROOKS and Interior Pages by TRAVIS CHAREST
Recapping the entire series to date, the ULTIMATES SAGA will be told by their new leader, Tony Stark. As America's premier super-hero team, the Ultimates have been forced to face more trials and tribulations than anyone ever expected during the course of their short time together: a Skrull infiltration, the trial of the Hulk for his murderous rampage, betrayal from within and the invasion of America. Now, no longer under the auspices of S.H.I.E.L.D., Tony Stark is forced to face the reality of his team's newfound freedom. Having gotten his hands on Nick Fury's personal files, Tony sifts through the information Nick has collected about the Ultimates’ adventures and discovers there's been a lot more going on with his team than he ever anticipated. This 32-page special will also include an extra four-page section featuring an all-new story by C.B. Cebulski and superstar Travis Charest.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

• I wonder if the will cause a rift amongst readers of Ultimates 3 when (or if) it comes out? "I spent 5 years of my life reading two, 13-issue series that led up to this and you consider yourself an Ultimates fan after just reading Ultimates Saga? Don't make me laugh!"

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #545
Written by J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
Pencils & 50/50 Cover by JOE QUESADA
50/50 Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
“ONE MORE DAY” PART 4
The riveting conclusion to the most-talked about -- and controversial -- comics event of the year. Brought to you by J. Michael Straczynski and Joe Quesada. Brace yourself, Spidey fans, after this, nothing will be the same for Peter Parker!
The stakes have never been higher. At his darkest hours -- and he's had plenty -- Peter has always had one shoulder to lean on, one person who'd remind him who he is, who he was, and who he can be. Now he's about to lose that person. What will he do...what would you do, if you only had "One More Day?”
48 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

• I love all the controversy that was started when the cover to this issue was released a few weeks ago with the tagline "End of an Era". People were all up in arms about it. "Peter and Mary Jane are going to get divorced!" "They're killing off Mary Jane!" A) I thought it was a picture of a gloved hand (which my friend Jeff says is Daredevil.) ripping a picture of Peter and MJ  to reveal a happier picture of the two. Upon further review, the gloved one is holding a shard of a broken picture. B) JMS has been writng ASM since 2001. that could be the era that they are talking about ending.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE ANNUAL #1
Written by DAN SLOTT
Penciled by TBA
Cover by JIM CHEUNG
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY!
You have been granted clearance to Camp Hammond's most sensitive files.
For the first time anywhere, witness the hidden origins of the GAUNTLET, ARMORY, MVP, and HARDBALL. Also, learn some of the Initiative's most hi-tech secrets. And meet the team from America's 2nd State, Pennsylvania, as they battle FLAG SMASHER and the forces of ULTIMATUM! How will Philly react to the Initiative's all-new take on the LIBERTY LEGION?
Jump on here for the next chapter in Marvel's big breakout series!
48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

• TBA's drawing this one too! Wow, he's getting a lot of work!

GHOST RIDER ANNUAL #1
Written by STUART MOORE
Pencils & Cover by BEN OLIVER
Meet the mysterious Mister Eleven -- a powerful player with a unique place in the battle between Heaven and Hell! But is he an angel, a demon, or something else entirely? Ghost Rider and Lucifer may find out -- if they survive an epic battle in a snow-covered, deserted amusement park! This story by Stuart Moore (NEW AVENGERS/TRANSFORMERS, MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS) and Ben Oliver (ULTIMATE X-MEN) stands alone, but also introduces an important new character into the Ghost Rider mythos!
48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

• You know, I'm not that crazy about picking up the regular Ghost Rider series. Don't foist an annual on me too.

HOUSE OF M: AVENGERS #1 (of 5)
Written by CHRISTOS GAGE
Pencils & Cover by MIKE PERKINS
Return to the world of the hit House of M series, where mutants rule the earth and familiar heroes lead shocking, unfamiliar lives!  See the history of this alternate reality revealed for the first time!  Follow Luke Cage as he goes from wrongly-convicted prisoner to super-powered fugitive...and assembles the band of rebel freedom fighters who will come to be known as the Avengers!  Featuring Hawkeye, Iron Fist, Moon Knight, Tigra, Mockingbird and more than a few surprises!  The team behind the acclaimed Union Jack, Christos (World War Hulk: X-Men) Gage and Mike (Captain America) Perkins, reunite to bring you Marvel's heroes and villains in a world where anything can happen...and does!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• I am totally Marvel's bitch when it come to the Avengers. Stick that name on anything and I'll buy it.

INCREDIBLE HULK #112
Written by GREG PAK & FRED VAN LENTE
Penciled by KHOI PHAM
Cover by ART ADAMS
CLASSIFIED
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• Oooh! Classified! Maybe they're going to kill off Captain America again!

MARVEL ATLAS #1 (of 2)
Written by MICHAEL HOSKIN, STUART VANDAL, ANTHONY FLAMINI & ERIC J. MOREELS
Penciled by ELIOT R. BROWN
Cover by STAZ JOHNSON
Walk through Marvel's Earth with the first-ever official atlas! In the first half of this indispensable guide, travel through Europe, Asia and the Pacific with digestible in-depth features including: the splendor of Dr. Doom's Latveria! The wonders of Muir Island! The glory of Silver Sable's homeland Symkaria! The urban squalor of Madripoor! The underwater marvels of Lemuria! From the shores of Ireland to the ocean's very depths, it's all mapped out for you courtesy of handbook legend Eliot R. Brown (PUNISHER ARMORY, IRON MANUAL)!
64 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

• This is a totally pointless book but I am totally going to buy it.

MOON KNIGHT ANNUAL #1
Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI
Pencils by JEFTE PAOLO
Cover by DAVE WILKINS
“DATE NIGHT”
Some people come to New York City looking for a knight in shining armor. Or just a warm body who can help you through the lonely hours.  Be careful what you look for.  Hot crime novelist Duane Swierczynski (“The Blonde”) and Jefte Paolo bring you the story of three women whose lives intersect in strange and deadly ways, two predators who stalk the city streets at night, and one shock ending you won’t see coming.  No matter how many bad dates you’ve had.
48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

• Another annual? This is like 4 this month! I guess Marvel has to counter act all the Countdown crossovers DC has by giving their fans more stuff not to buy. And I don't know how "hot" Duane Swierczyski is. Not that I'm a big fan of the crime novel genre, but I'd think I'd notice a name like Swierczynski on book store shelves (watch, now I'll ALWAYS see his name whenever I'm in a book store.)

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #13
Written by MATT FRACTION
Pencils by CORY WALKER
Cover by ARIEL OLIVETTI
“HUNTER/HUNTED,” Part 1 of 3
The reintroduction of a classic, brutal, and bloodthirsty Kraven the Hunter. A bank robbery goes violently wrong, leaving the Rhino on the lam, running from the long arm of the law and, of course, the Punisher. As Frank Castle looks to settle the score with an old foe, the Hunter stalks the same prey, building himself the ultimate menagerie -- a living, breathing super-human zoo! Add Spider-Man into this mix as the lone voice of sanity and super-special guest artist Cory Walker (THE IRREDEEMABLE ANT-MAN, Invincible) and you've got chocolate and peanut butter with bullets dipped in it. Delicious! Violent! Explodey!
32 PGS./RATED T+ ...$2.99

• Reintroduction of Kraven? Didn't he eat the business end of a shotgun? I'd like to see how someone comes back from that!

THUNDERBOLTS: BREAKING POINT
Written by CHRISTOS GAGE
Pencils by BRIAN DENHAM
Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
Songbird.  Moonstone.  The two longest-serving members of the Thunderbolts...but that's practically all they have in common.  Songbird has vowed not to let Moonstone corrupt her team, while Moonstone schemes to kill Songbird in the field.  This special issue follows the pair of heroes as they head inexorably toward confrontation...on a collision course that may tear the Thunderbolts apart!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• Answering the question, "When is a fill-in not a fill-in?" When it is a one-shot special inbetween issues of the regular series.

UNCANNY X-MEN #492
Written by ED BRUBAKER
Penciled by BILLY TAN
Cover by DAVID FINCH
Variant Cover by MARC SILVESTRI
MESSIAH COMPLEX – PART 2 of 13
The biggest mutant event in a decade continues here! Following the Messiah Complex one-shot, the X-Men scramble to search for the missing mutant newborn. But they’ll need to tackle the Acolytes before they get any answers.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• Whoa, whoa whoa! Mutant baby? I thought mutant powers generated at puberty? I hope they explain this or I'm going to want a refund on 30 years of X-Men buying!

X-MEN: DIE BY THE SWORD #3 (of 5)
Written by Chris Claremont
Penciled by Juan Santacruz
Cover by JELENA KEVIC DJURDJEVIC
As Roma’s forces are swarmed by the evil Jaspers and his army of Furies, the Exiles struggle to help the gravely injured Captain Britain. A decision to enlist the help of an unlikely ally may be the heroes’ only hope for victory! And the reunion of Longshot and Dazzler goes horribly wrong.
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• SPOILER ALERT: Longshot says Dazzler looks fat in her uniform. Man, that lead to an uncomfortable car ride to the battle.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS #6
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by ROGER CRUZ
Cover by ERIC NGUYEN
"Hey Cyclops, you seen my powers anywhere?"
"Naw."
"Ay-ay, where my wings go at?"
"Dag, I'm all havin' to lift up my coffee with my HANDS, yo."
"Dang. We cold done lost our powerz."
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• The only way this solicitation could have been redeemed is if that last one was done in the form of a LOLcat.

More later...