The Gates Ombudsman: 2/19/08

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• A New Guiding Line Column is up: This week, I cover Spirit #14, Cable and Deadpool #50, Superman/Batman #46, Zorro #1, Perhapanauts Annual #1, Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter #1, The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite #6, Immortal Iron Fist: Orson Randall and the Green Mist of Death, Loaded Bible 3: Communion, and Aspen Showcase: Grace #1.
• Lindsay Lohan appears nude in New York magazine: Yeah, just before all you horndogs click that link, just remember that just a few short years ago she looked like this:
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Gambit cast in Wolverine movie: Because, you know, Marvel really really wants to put him in a movie, Who cares if he really doesn't fit. And Liev Schreiber is playing Sabretooth? Really?
• New Guardians of the Galaxy series could be good: But it's not really the Guardians of the Galaxy. I hope you know that.
• Brave and the Bold to be DC's next cartoon: YES!!!!
• MENSA chairman picks the 10 smartest shows of all time: I think Mad About You is only on the list just so angry people will blog about it. I mean, Star Trek was way smarter than Mad About You.
• USA Today covers the Red Hulk: And the Red Hulk is news, why?
• New York magazine advises people to send hair to ABC in order to save "Cavemen": This and the Lindsay Lohan thing means that New York Magazine must have suffered a greivous head injury. Did they move April Fool's to February?

 

Movie: Definitely, Maybe and the trailer before it.

Definitely maybe

So, the wife and I decided to take advantage of us both being off today and go to movies. After a little bit of a late lunch, our only options were this Definitely,Maybe and Jumper (we were too late for There Will Be Blood. So I guess my milkshake is safe). My wife won out, and we saw this one.

This movie is not recommended for people with a low tolerance for "cute". People act cute, meet cute, talk cute and are cute.

I have a low cute tolerance, but the actors, for me, dampened the treacle to tolerable levels.

Ryan Reynolds is charming, but restrained. He is not his usual, wise cracking, smarmy self. Isla Fisher is even more charming.

The movie is billed as a mystery romantic comedy, as Reynolds relates "how he met your mother" to his 10 year old daughter. The mother's identity is kept secret until almost to the very end. Who is it? The least likely suspect. This is not a spoiler, becuase anyone familiar with movie conventions will be able to figure this out.

All in all, I think it is a good time in spite of it's foibles. It does hold a bit of emotional impact, and you'll be feeling for the characters by the end.

Now, the trailers:

• Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns: Wow. Angela Basset is in a Tyler Perry movie. This means something. I just don't care to find out what.
• The Other Boleyn Girl: Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman? In the same movie? And Scarlett shows just a bit of skin? I am so there, dude!
• Leatherheads: You know what? Hollywood should do some more screwball comedies. This looks good, but I'm not sure I buy the love triangle. The ages are just too disparate for me.
• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The wife and me "Oohed" when this came one. Yeah, I had doubts that Harrison Ford might be too old for this part, but they are gone. We are so going to see it.
• Baby Mama: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? In the same movie? I am so there dude! Even if it is a chick flick comedy. 

Hollywood make-up artists should show more dedication in their work.

I recently re-stumbled upon a publicity still from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Something about it bothered me then, and it still bothers me now:

 

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See the belly on that Zombie? How pink and healthy it looks? That took me right out of the picture.

Now, granted, I understand that the make-up artist probably figured that the extra's shirt would rise up like that as he ran, but still. It takes a bit away from it.

Yes, I do know that this is the definition of nit-picking, and I am score major "Get a Life" points with this, but I thought I'd share.

Guess my favorite movies by their quotes.

I got this meme from Redhead Fangirl. Here are the rules:

1. Pick 10 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

Please try to participate. I'd like to see how close people get:

1. Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.

2. That gives us exactly... forty minutes to get the fuck out of Dodge. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.

3. Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

4. No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

5. I dated this girl for a while... she was really a... nasty freak. She just loved to... get down with... sex all the time. It was like... anytime of day... she was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty!" And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! cool!"

6. Oh... one other thing. If you guys ever have kids and one of them when he's eight years old accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.

7. It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.

8. Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

9. You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.

10. The man is hurting! He's alone, tired, and he hasn't seen diddly-squat from anybody down here. Now you're going to stand there and tell me that he's going to give a damn about what you do to him, IF he makes it out of there alive? Why don't you wake up and smell what you're shoveling?

Get to guessing!

TV: The new Knight Rider (what I saw of it) is good.

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The first Knight Rider series was a guilty pleasure from my youth. I used to love watching it. For the younger me, the real star was KITT. I was too young to be impressed by David Hasselhoff's roguish charm. But a talking, invulnerable car? Sign me up.

I have fond memories of my father saying "turbo boost" when the family station wagon entered a highway. So, I was hesitant to watch the Knight Rider movie tonight. Especially after what NBC did with the Bionic Woman revamp. But the wife and I watched it anyway.

And whatever they did wrong with Bionic Woman they did right with Knight Rider. Where the Bionic Woman was morose, the Knight Rider had just a little bit of fun.

It wasn't campy as the original series. But there was enough humor to make the watching interesting. The only problem was that the power went out in my condo four times during the show. Each time, my cable box had to reboot, and it took about 10 minutes each time. So we missed a good part of the show.

I don't know how many people watched it, but I kinda hope they pick it up for a series. The cast is pretty good (Sydney Poitier, Bruce Davidson) and Val Kilmer is perfect as the voice of KITT. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this version of Knight Rider.

The Gates Ombusman: 02/17/08

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Here is a round up of some news articles that caught my eye in the last several weeks.

• Rock band Boston tells Mike Huckabee to not to use their song: Isn't it just like those commie lib rock stars to not to continue to allow Huckabee to use "More Than a Feeling" without payment or permission? Or even Huckabee asking? Maybe Mike can use "The Eyes of the Ranger are Upon you" for his next rally.
• When will your favorite show return, post strike? Here is an hourly updated list: Bad news for Journeyman, Big Shots, and Bionic Woman. Because it doesn't look like they're coming back EVER. Wow. Who would of thought that a lame, male remake of Sex in the City, a lame ripoff of Quantum Leap, and a completely joyless revamp of Bionic Woman wouldn't resonate with the audiences?
• Rucka and Brubaker are on an upcoming Daredevil arc: One word describes my feelings about this:Glee!
• Fall Out Boy comes to comics: I'd make a joke about this be another way they are ripping off My Chemical Romance, but I actually like the band. But good luck with that deal with Dabel Brothers.
• Toy Fair Opens: Yes, I am totally wishing I was there.
• Pop Candy has another entry in their comic crash course: This time, Whitney covers kid-friendly books.
• FOX sues Warners over Watchmen: Yeah, because their holding on to the rights for a movie that they never intended to make is very important. Or, that they have Warner's over a barrel and want to make a quick buck.

My writing on the Internet.

There have been two recent occurances of my writing hiting the Internet this week.

First off is my weekly Guiding Lines column, this week, I covered Fantastic Four #554, Fantastic Four: The Lost Adventure, Booster Gold #0, Ghost Rider #20, Next Issue Project #1: Fantastic Comics #24, Spider-Man Family #7, Tiny Titans #1, X-Force #1, and Spooks #1.

 Also, I reviewed The Nightmare Factory treade paperback over at PopMatters.

Please, go check these out!