Diablo Cody: Much Nothing About Ado.

Oscarsleeping

CNN.com sent to me, via my Academy Awards alerts,  an AP story about the backlash against Diablo Cody. Since it is 3 AM and I can't get to sleep, I decided to blog at random about the backlash and Ms. Cody.

(Image courtesy of her MySpace blog. More on pictures taken from her blog)

• How is any of this news? Especially AP and CNN worthy news? The media is fascinated with this woman, mainly because she was once a stripper and now is a writer. But their has been backlash against Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, Akiva Goldsman and just about any other writer you'd care to mention. None of that backlash is major media newsworthy.
• As for the backlash itself, well, welcome to Hollywood. While I haven't been to Hollywood other than as a tourist, it is renown for building people up so it can tear them down.
• Is the backlash motivated by jealousy? Yeah, at least in part.  
• As an aspiring writer, am I jealous of Cody's success? Hell yeah. But not in the way I want to tear her down. I want to use her for an example and/or inspiration. If she can do it, perhaps maybe I can too.
• The article is titled "Latest "It" talent feeling backlash". If that wasn't the most awkward title ever, I don't know what is. And it's not really verified either. The article is mostly "This newspaper said this about Cody. This website said this about Cody" Comments from her are conspicuous in their abscence. Is she really feeling the backlash? How can we tell?
• The article should be disqualified for quoting TMZ at all. TMZ is the catfish of the tabloid world, the bottom feeder of the bottom feeders.
• The article, while wrapping itself in the journalistic pretense of doing a serious examination of the backlash, is, in essence, a backhanded form of backlash itself.
• What constitutes the backlash? A brouhaha about her Oscar shoes, people imitating her writing style, a comedian imitating her, and "embarrassing nude pictures" of her posted on Egotastic (The link will take you to the pictures, So beware.). The last one appears to be the worst. The rest are fairly tame.
• The kicker? The pictures on Egotastic were taken from various and sundry blogs she herself has had over the past few years. (Seriously, this girl has a progression of blogs to rival mine. Hey, Diablo! Come to Vox! It's user friendly!) 
• As for there BEING nude pictures, I only say this: Nude pictures of an ex-stripper on the internet is the equivalent of finding a drunk person of Irish descent in a bar. (And before you yell at me, I am half Irish). In other words, fairly common.
• For a "serious" article, it portrays a lot of quotes out of context. One quote is in favor of Cody but at first read seems the quotee is dissing her.
• I'm begining to feel I should put on black eyeliner and film myself screaming into the camera "LEAVE DIABLO ALONE!"
• The article says Cody is now under pressure to match the success of Juno. Hmm. Lets see. She has another movie in pre-production, a Steven Spielberg produced TV series in pre-production and a regular back page column in Entertainment Weekly (of which I am probably most jealous of her for. I had my eye on that job. Someday. When I became a famous author. Okay, I know it's not likely. But a boy can dream, can't he?), so she is doing pretty alright just the way it is.

The Gates Ombudsman: 02/28/08

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• Next round of the SNL tournament is on:  My request? Vote for Belushi.
• PopCandy publishes their final installment of the comic crash course: This week, it's Whitney's personal Faves. There's only one superhero book on the list, and it's Identity Crisis. Interesting.
• And if you want to meet Whitney, she'll be at the Isotope in SF: She'll be appearing with Tim Sale. Details in the link.
• New Guiding Lines column published: This week, I cover Project: Superpowers #1, X-Men: Legacy #208, Crime Bible: Five Lessons of Blood #5, Marvel Zombies 2 #5, Urban Monsters #1, Ropeburn #1, Deathblow #1, and House of M: Avengers #5.

Sad News: R.I.P. Myron Cope

T1-cope

Myron Cope, longtime broadcaster of the Pittsburgh Steelers, has passed away. He was 79.

I can't say that Mr. Cope played a direct part of my life. I was a Pittsburgh fan, but my hometown was on the opposite side of the state from Pittsburgh. I watched the Steelers on television, I didn't listen to them much, if at all, on the radio.

But he touched my life indirectly. I own four of his trademark "Terrible Towels". I refer to the Bengals as "The Bungles", just like did.

He was the Steeler's Harry Caray. And he will be missed.

I endorse that you DON'T vote for Ralph Nader.

Ralph Nader

So, Ralph Nader announced he is running for President. I guess the exploratory committee came back and said "Ralph, we've done some research. And there is a really chance that you can screw up this election! I know! Just what you wanted to hear. Shall I set up the press conference now!"

A lot of disenchanted people have already joined the band wagon. I have this to say to anyone on the fence.

Do not vote for Ralph Nader.

If you are sick and tired of how big business treats its employees and influences politics, find out the culprits and boycott their products. Write to your Congressman or woman and say you won't support them if they take money from these people.

But don't vote for Ralph Nader.

If you want a more responsible environmental policy, again, write your Congressperson. Do all you can, personally, to recycle and to buy recycled goods. Become active in assuring your local community does the same thing.

But don't vote for Ralph Nader.

Because while Nader says all the right things about the subjects that many politicians say nothing, or little about, in reality, there is little he can do about it.

The President is head of the executive branch. The executive branch can only enforce laws, not make them. That burden falls on the legislative branch, or the Congress. So all these sweeping changes that Nader wants to make relies on the cooperation with the Congress.

Now, the congress is full of all these fat-cat politicos on both sides of the aisle who are in the hands of lobbyists working for companies that exemplify what Nader is railing against. Do you think they'd be willing to sponsor a bill, say, adopting a carbon pollution tax? An increase in pnealties for corporate crime? Not likely.

I don't know if Nader is idiotically idealistic or selfishly self-serving, but this campaign is doomed for failure. There is no chance he can win. And if in the outside chance he does win, he will have a hard time fulfilling on his campaign promises. The only thing he really can accomplish is ensure that enough votes are leeched away from the Democrats that the Republicans have a better chance of winning.

Oh, he will deny this. He will say that if the Democrats can't beat the Republicans with him in the race, they can't beat them at all. He will make the point that Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000 and was screwed by the electoral college--nothing to do with him. But the fact is, he did cost Gore the election. He did syphon votes away from the Democrats. And he gave us a President that was almost the exact opposite of the ideals he stands for.  

Nader is a learned man. He should realize this. He should be pragmatic enough to know that change can not come all at once, and any real, lasting change comes through compromise. Compromise is not in Nader's vocabulary

So, therefore, if you want a better country. Do not vote for Nader. I may be a political bigot. But I am not infringing on Nader's right to run. He has every right to be on the ballot. But you have every right not to vote for him.

I call the Oscars

I am going to boldly predict how the Oscar's will turn out. This usually means I will fail miserably and this will be on the Internet forever to my eternal shame and embarassment.

BEST PICTURE

Who will win: No Country for Old Men

Who should win: Juno

Dark Horse: Michael Clayton.

I personally think that No Country was a good movie but the secretive way the Coen's portrayed the last half hour kept it from being great. I think Juno is much more consistent, and therefore, better. But Hollywood loves No Country, and most likely will get the nod. However, Michael Clayton may surprise.

BEST ACTOR:

Who will win: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Who should win: Anyone but him.

Dark Horse: George Clooney, Michael Clayton

Day-Lewis is racking up statuette after statuette for his performance. I haven't seen Blood, mainly because his acting in the trailer shied me away. Sure, he might be playing a larger than life character, but it comes off as scenery chewing at its worst. He will probably win, but I don't know if he really deserves it.

BEST ACTRESS:

Who will win: Julie Christie, Away From Her

Who should win: Ellen Page, Juno

Dark Horse: Marion Cotillard. La Vie en Rose

Again, I haven't seen Christie in this movie, but she is supposed to be fantastic. She most likely deserves it. But Ellen Page did a fantastic job too. if only she was nominated in another year. Same for Cotillard.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Who will win: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Who should win: Bardem

Dark Horse: Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild.

As conflicted as I was over No Country, I can not deny that Bardem gives one of the best perfomances I have ever seen in film. He is a force of nature in the film, horribly evil but he makes you root for him, just a little bit. Holbrook might have a chance if they go the "lifetime achievement" route. He does deserve it for his body of work, but not this year.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Who will win: Ruby Dee, American Gangster

Who should win: Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone

Dark Horse: Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There

I believe that Dee should not have gotten a nomination. She played such a minor part in the film, under 5 minutes I believe, and was so broad when she was on the screen that she actually took away from the film. She does have one big "Hey, Academy, look at me" scene, but it doesn't really fit with the rest of the film. But she has done a lot of great work in her career, work she should have been nominated and won, so that, with her age and the fact she won the SAG award, leads me to believe an Oscar is in her future. Which leaves Amy Ryan, winner of many other awards for her role in Gone Baby Gone and Cate Blanchett as wild cards.

DIRECTOR

Who will win: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Who should win: Jason Reitman, Juno

Dark Horse: Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

I believe this year is the Coen Brothers' year. They deserved an Oscar way before this, but this time, it seems that Hollywod caught up with them. I, however, have issues with the film I mentioned above. Which is why I think Reitman should get the nod. Although Schnabel seems to be a popular wild card.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Who will win: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Who should win: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Dark Horse: Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

I have read the screenplay for No Country and I loved it. The ending in it is less vague. So they deserve to win this. However, they might win Director and usually, you don't win that and this. Anderson is a dark horse. I really can't believe any screenplay with the dialogue "I DRANK YOUR MILKSHAKE" in it would even be nominated, but Hollywood seems to like him. If the Coens don't win both director and adapted screenplay, he might take this one.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

Who will win: Diablo Cody, Juno

Who should win: Cody

Dark Horse: Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton

Cody's Juno script started out choppy, with too hip by half dialogue, but found its voice soon after. Yes, she seems to be relishing in her role as Hollywood's latest "It" girl, but that doesn't take away from the quality of her debut effort. If she doesn't get this award, they might give it to Gilroy, for writing the Academy favorite Clayton.

What do you think?

The Gates Ombudsman: 2/22/08

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The snow that hit the Northeast means that instead of taking a quiz in my History of Modern Drama class, I am able to blog. Yay! First up, a news and notes recap.

• Can you name the last 15 Oscar Best Picture winners?: Under five minutes? Good luck. I am an Oscar freak and I only got 7 my first time around.
• From the same site, can you name all the Presidents in 8 minutes?: I am an even bigger President freak and I missed one. 
• Who is the best Saturday Night Live cast member, tournament style: Some of the match ups might be a bit unfair, but if you ever wondered who was better, Bill Murray or Norm MacDonald, this test is for you.
• Which city should be in Monopoly's world edition? You can vote at the above link, but realize that there is some controversy. Peter David has discuss--and recommeded--some ballot box stuffing.  ANd apparently, the inclusion of Jerusalem has caused some ruckus. But if you want to vote, you have one more week. You will have to log in to the site, however.
• Pop Candy has another entry into its "Comics Crash Course": This week, it's must see series. And a pretty good representation too.
• Heidi MacDonald is engaged: Comic fans are torn. Most wish her the best (Including us here at Gates' Rants, who have sent her best wishes on more than one website, so much it's almost like stalking), but others are upset because, as the link above indicates, future 300 and Sin City sequels are now in jeopardy.
• Garth Ennis' The Boys set to become a movie: Right now, somewhere in Hollywood, they are soaking the comics in bleach to try to get them clean enough to be transferred to film.
• Stracyzski no longer exclusive to Marvel: He wants to give other companies the chance to have him write their editorial mandate into comic form, which obviously will piss off the fans, who will blame him for the awful changes which he will either take quietly or throw it back on his bosses

I mock the Marvel and DC solicitations for May 2008.

I'm back in the ring to take another swing. Starting with Marvel:

THE DARK TOWER: THE LONG ROAD HOME #3 (of 5)
Written by PETER DAVID & ROBIN FURTH
Pencils & Cover by JAE LEE & RICHARD ISANOVE
Variant Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
Variant Sketch Cover by JAE LEE
With Roland’s consciousness trapped within Maerlyn’s Grapefruit, his ka-tet companion, Alain, enters the mystical todash space in an attempt to rescue his friend. But as he and Roland flit in and out of alien dimensions, Cuthbert, the last member of their ka-tet, desperately tries to stave off a pack of slavering mutant wolves who have come to devour the unconscious Roland and Alain!
48 PGS./Cardstock Cover/Parental Advisory …$3.99

• I didn't even make it past "Grapefruit". I'm still getting this though.

SKY DOLL #1 (of 3)
Written by BARBARA CANEPA
Art & Cover by ALESSANDRO BARBUCCI
(Exclusive U.S. ONLY Variant also available)
The internationally acclaimed best-seller is now finally presented in English! Meet Noa, a so-called Sky Doll; a life-like female android without rights, who exists only to serve the State's needs and desires. But when Noa meets two so-called "missionaries" who aid in her escape from her tyrannical master, all hell breaks loose for our cyborg siren as she uncovers clues that she may be much more than just a robotic toy. The first release in a new partnership between Marvel and cutting-edge French publisher Soleil!
64 PGS./Mature Content …$5.99
The Soleil Comics may only be sold in English North America: United States, Canada, Mexico and their territories and possessions.

• Yeah, just what every Marvel Zombie wants. French comic books. And does Mexico have any possessions?

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #54
Written by MIKE CAREY
Penciled by TYLER KIRKHAM
Cover by BILLY TAN
CAPTAIN AMERICA’s Mike Perkins jumps onboard for a new story filled with supernatural surprises and all-out action! When the FF help out with the excavation of the Mole Man’s underground city, they awaken something that should have been left sleeping! Who is Agatha Harkness? What are Salem’s Seven? New Ultimate characters! A new artist! All this – plus, someone has the hots for the Human Torch!
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• If Mike Perkins has jumped onboard, why is Tyler Kirkham still listed as artist? And do we really need the Ultimate Salem Seven?

ULTIMATE X-MEN #94
Written by ARON COLEITE
Penciled by MARK BROOKS
Cover by GABRIELE DELL’OTTO
New scribe Aron Coleite jumps aboard, fresh from his stint as one of the top writers on the hit NBC show Heroes! Regrouping after the devastating battle against Apocalypse, the X-Men encounter a new adversary which seems unstoppable. To fight it, the young mutants must ask themselves: how far are they willing to go and what are they willing to take to raise their game? The answer will test the bonds and shake the team to its very core.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• "Hey Kids? Remember that Bryan Singer arc we promised you? Well, it's not ready yet. But what if we give you one of the guys who writes Heroes? Would that hold you over?"

AMERICAN DREAM #1 & 2 (of 5)
Written by TOM DEFALCO
Penciled by TODD NAUCK
Cover by RON FRENZ
As the star-spangled splendor struggles to find a balance between her personal and superhero lives, a hunt for a missing fiancée unexpectedly leads American Dream into a battle with an unstoppable new super-foe and terrifyingly new kind of terrorist.
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• Sorry, Marvel. I like the MC2 world, I'm a fan of Captain America, but you're not getting my money for this one. I mean, really, two books a month? When will you learn. I'll wait until it hits the .50 bins.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #13
Written by CHRISTOS GAGE
Pencils & Cover by STEVE UY
There's a contract out on The Taskmaster, and no shortage of villains willing to fulfill it. But what'll kill him first -- the bad guys, or his latest class of recruits? Welcome Annex, Prodigy, Gorilla Girl, Sunstreak and Batwing to the Initiative. But are they -- is anyone -- ready for the coming of...Butterball??
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• Surprising no one, Dan Slott is of the book and Christos Gage is going solo. Doing 3 Spidey books a month every three months will do that to ya.

AVENGERS/INVADERS #1 (of 12)
Written by Jim Krueger and Alex Ross
Penciled by Steve Sadowski
Cover by ALEX ROSS
Variant Cover by David Finch
Legends Live Again.
The original Invaders (Captain America , Bucky , Human Torch , Toro , and the Sub-Mariner) return in a twelve issue maxi-series by the award winning team behind EARTH X, Justice and Project Superpowers .The greatest super-team of World War II finds themselves transported from the battlefields of the Second World War to a future they never imagined! Now, the Invaders find themselves confronted by two teams of Avengers who want desperately to believe these heroes are who they say they are, while Tony Stark faces his greatest challenge since the Civil War as he must deal with the “return” of Steve Rogers. Confronted by a world they barely recognize, the Invaders will have to show two teams of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes just what kind of power, courage and sheer determination it took to defeat the forces of unrelenting evil in the Twentieth century. In fact…they may just have to do it again in the Twenty-First.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• This, I'm getting.

CLANDESTINE #4 (of 5)
Written by ALAN DAVIS
Pencils & Cover by ALAN DAVIS
Vampires! Inhumans! Excalibur! Oh, my!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• Come on, Mr. Solicitation Writer Guy! You're not even trying!

FANTASTIC FOUR #557
Written by MARK MILLAR
Pencils & Cover by BRYAN HITCH
“World’s Greatest” concludes! It’s the ultimate engine of peace pitted against Reed Richards’ most lethal invention, for all the marbles! And a shocking final page that’ll have you feeling every minute of the thirty-day wait until the next issue!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• Make your own "Thirty days? Really? BWAH-HA-HA!" joke here.

KING SIZE HULK #1
Written by JEPH LOEB
Pencils by ART ADAMS & FRANK CHO & MORE
50/50 Covers by FRANK CHO & ART ADAMS
HULK vs. SHE-HULK!
HULK vs. WENDIGO!
HULK vs. ???????????
JEPH LOEB! ART ADAMS! FRANK CHO! TOO many SUPERSTARS to fit into a puny REGULAR-SIZED issue!!!
We’re comin’ upside your head with a KING-SIZE spectacular with MORE smashing, bashing, trashing, and clashing than should be allowed by law!!! Three new tales that fill in the gaps of the best-selling HULK book, and set up NEW storylines! PLUS, classic tales including THE INCREDIBLE HULK 180 (the REAL 1st appearance of Wolverine!) and AVENGERS 83 (Lady Liberators, anyone?)! More? You want MORE!?!? How about a super-secret MYSTERY ARTIST…???
96 PGS./Rated A…$4.99

• King Size? Why not Giant Size?

GIANT-SIZE INCREDIBLE HULK #1
Written by ROGER STERN
Pencils by TBD
Cover by GARY FRANK
The Hulk may be a misunderstood monster, but his former sidekick, Fred Sloan, is determined to set the record straight. He’s traveling the country, finding stories of the Hulk touching people’s lives, researching for his book, “Hulk Encounter: A Survivor’s Story." But will he find the Hulk revered as a hero, or despised as a menace? Meanwhile, the green goliath himself is on the run, getting into trouble as he goes. Join classic Hulk writer Roger Stern for this look into the impact of Hulk’s smashing! PLUS: Re-presenting the hard-to-find INCREDIBLE HULK ANNUAL #7 by Robert Stern, John Byrne and Bob Layton!
48 PGS./Rated A…$3.99

• Oh.

THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #1
Written by MATT FRACTION
Pencils & 50/50 Variant Cover by SALVADOR LARROCA
50/50 Variant Cover by JOE QUESADA
Variant Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC
Variant Cover by BOB LAYTON
Variant Cover by BILLY TAN
Variant IRON MAN MOVIE Cover
A bold new ONGOING TITLE for the biggest hero of 2008!
IRON MAN! You know you love him! And as the summer’s most anticipated movie boot-jets its way into theaters, here’s the perfect jumping-on point for new readers and Iron Man fans alike! Tony Stark – Iron Man, billionaire industrialist and director of S.H.I.E.L.D. – faces the most overwhelming challenge of his life. Ezekiel Stane, the son of Tony’s late business rival and archenemy Obadiah, has set his sights, his genius and his considerable fortune on the task of destroying Tony Stark and Iron Man. What’s worse, he’s got Iron Man tech, and he’s every bit Iron Man’s equal and opposite…except younger, faster, smarter…and immeasurably evil. Rising star writer Matt Fraction (IMMORTAL IRON FIST) and superstar artist Salvador Larroca (UNCANNY X-MEN) join forces to repulsor-ray your comic books to a cinder!
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

IRON MAN: VIVA LAS VEGAS #1 (of 4)
Written by JON FAVREAU
Pencils & Cover by ADI GRANOV
A Marvel Knights series by the talents who brought you the IRON MAN movie! What’s a billionaire to do when he’s worn out from running a multi-national corporation? Well, if his name happens to be Tony Stark, it’s a situation that calls for some R & R in the casinos of sin city! Mix in a beautiful archaeologist and the fifty-foot dragon statue she discovered, and a plague of lizards descending on Las Vegas, and it’s a recipe for the sort of armored adventure that’s a perfect chaser after an evening at the movies!
32 PGS./Cardstock Cover/Rated T+ …$3.99

ALL-NEW IRON MANUAL
Written by MICHAEL HOSKIN, ANTHONY FLAMINI, RONALD BYRD,
STUART VANDAL, JACOB ROUGEMONT, CHAD ANDERSON,
DAVID WILTFONG, MARK O'ENGLISH, MIKE FICHERA & AL SJOERDSMA
Armor Gallery Penciled by CARLO PAGULAYAN
Schematics Penciled by ELIOT R. BROWN
Cover by GREG LAND
These are the chronicles of Tony Stark: the playboy, the genius inventor, the philanthropist, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., the futurist, the hero. This Handbook is the definitive resource to the world of Iron Man, featuring Tony's closest allies (Happy and Pepper Hogan, War Machine, the Order) and deadliest foes (Justin Hammer, Mandarin, Obadiah Stane)! Includes a complete gallery of the Iron Man armors, plus all-new schematics of key armors and the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier!
64 PGS./Rated T+ …$4.99

• I sense a trend. "We have two characters with movies coming out. Let's make sure 90% of our publishing output features these characters!"

MARVEL 1985 #1 (of 6)
Written by MARK MILLAR
Art by TOMMY LEE EDWARDS
Cover by OLIVIER COIPEL
Variant Cover by TOMMY LEE EDWARDS
Before SECRET INVASION…before WORLD WAR HULK…before CIVIL WAR… The most powerful super-villains in the Marvel Universe gather their might to wreak havoc on the one place they’ve never before set foot—YOUR WORLD! As mankind’s enemies cut a swath of destruction with unprecedented ferocity and ruthlessness, the fate of the planet rests in the hands of one person: Toby, a 13-year-old boy who holds the key to uniting his comic-book idols, the Marvel Heroes! Superstars Mark Millar (CIVIL WAR, FANTASTIC FOUR) and Tommy Lee Edwards (BULLET POINTS, The Question) deliver a Marvel Event the likes of which you’ve never seen!
32 PGS./CARDSTOCK COVER/Rated T+ …$3.99

• This settles it. I'm cutting my hold list down. Too many books are coming out I want, and I can't afford to get all of them.

SECRET INVASION: FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (of 3)
Written by ROBERTO AGUIRRE-SACASA
Penciled by BARRY KITSON
Cover by ALAN DAVIS
"NO ONE GETS BACK ALIVE!"
Part 1 (of 3): "Negative Energy"
The invasion has started, and no one in the MU is safe, not even the First Family of Comicdom! Aware that some of the Earth's most advanced technology and weaponry is housed in the Baxter Building, the Skrulls have neutralized the building--by transporting it and its inhabitants straight to the Negative Zone! With one member of the Fantastic Four M.I.A. and another "replaced," it's up to the remaining family members--not to mention Franklin and Val—to get back to our dimension, Skrulls or no Skrulls. But are any of our heroes who they think they are?
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• It's good to see Aguirre-Sacasa back on the FF, but the whole "let's put out a separate miniseries because we just changed the creative team on the main book and we don't want them to interrupt their storyline" thing kinda bothers me. This should be in the main FF book. If only they held off 3 months.

newuniversal: shockfront #1 (of 6)
Written by WARREN ELLIS
Penciled by STEVE KURTH
Cover by BRANDON PETERSON
Initially, there were four: A Starbrand. A Nightmask. A Justice. A Cipher. They are manifestations of god-like power on Earth, chosen by the Universe. In the wake of the cosmic phenomenon that empowered them, they have been threatened, hunted, and attacked. And now, they’re about to discover that they’re not alone. Acclaimed writer WARREN ELLIS (THUNDERBOLTS) and artist STEVE KURTH (LAST OF THE MOHICANS) bring you the return of this new universe: one experiencing superhuman power for the first time.
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$2.99

• Grrr. Should I pick this up, because I picked up the first one, or let it go. Grr.

X-MEN: LEGACY #211 & 212
Written by MIKE CAREY
Penciled by SCOT EATON
Cover by DAVID FINCH
Sins of the Father, part 1 of 3. Professor X is trying to rebuild memories of his past using other people's minds. But the past is coming back to haunt him in another way, as a swathe of tragic deaths turns out to be linked by only one factor: Brian Xavier, the Professor's long-dead father. And solving the mystery means paying a visit to the Hellfire Club...
32 PGS. (each)/Rated A …$2.99 (each)

• Is Marvel trying to bankrupt Me? Two issues in a month? Come on!

X-FACTOR: THE QUICK AND THE DEAD
Written by PETER DAVID
Pencils by PABLO RAIMONDI
Cover by BOO COOK
He’s gone from the son of the one of the world’s greatest villains, to one of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and then to one of the world’s greatest villains in his own right. Now, Pietro Maximoff, Quicksilver, the man behind the Decimation of the world’s mutants finds himself depowered and trapped in a prison cell, where he must confront all the demons of his past. Be sure not to miss this momentous, unforgettable story of the world’s former fastest mutant, with an ending that will have massive ramification for the mutant universe. 32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

• See, this is why Marvel sucks. This could be a fill in issue of the regular series. But noooo. The put out a special, trying to suck more money away from their fans. Does Joe Q need a mortgage payment? Is that why there are so many double issues and high profile series starting this month?

YOUNG X-MEN #2
Written by MARC GUGGENHEIM
Penciled by YANICK PAQUETTE
Cover by TERRY DODSON
Who are the New Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and what do Dani Moonstar and Magma have to do with it? Whatever their plan is, Cyclops has put together the Young X-Men to stop them. But can they survive?
32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

• Great. Make two old "New Mutants" evil. At least it's not Yost and Kyle writing it. They'd be dead.

GENEXT #1 (of 5)
Written by CHRIS CLAREMONT
Penciled by PATRICK SCHERBERGER
Cover by DOUG GREGORY ALEXANDER
You asked for it, X-Fans, and now, you got it! Marvel.com asked you what Chris Claremont’s next project should be. You, the fans, said you wanted to know what today’s new generation of X-Men would be like if the Marvel Universe aged in real-time! Who are the children of the X-Men? And what happened to the original team, Professor X, and Magneto after over 30 years of conflict, victories, and tragedies? Now, at last, the answers arrive as beloved X-Men scribe Chris Claremont reveals an all-new generation of mutant teens!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

• About time this came out. But why now? So it could get lost in one of the busiest months ever?

WOLVERINE: THE AMAZING IMMORTAL MAN AND OTHER BLOODY TALES
Written by DAVID LAPHAM
Art by DAVID LAPHAM,
KELLY GOODINE
& JOHNNY TIMMONS
Cover by Simone Bianchi
Step right up, one and all! But be forewarned, the grisly specimens on display are not intended for the faint of heart or weak of constitution! Steel yourselves for the most astonishing, most awe-inspiring and most revolting of Mother Nature’s rare mistakes! Three -- count them, ladies and gentlemen, THREE -- stomach-turning tales to terrify and delight are packed into this freak-show menagerie, starring that most tenacious survivor of genetic adversity, that hardy bottom-feeder at the fringes of our civil society…the hirsute, unkillable half-animal…WOOOOLVERINE!
40 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

• This is totally unnecessary. Seriously. Like Lapham, but don't need to spend another $4 this month.

WOLVERINE: ORIGINS #25
Written by DANIEL WAY
Penciled by STEVE DILLON
Cover by SIMONE BIANCHI
“The Deep End,” Part 5 (of 5)
The trap has sprung. Wolverine is Deadpool’s prisoner. But Deadpool isn’t getting paid to deliver a prisoner—he’s getting paid to take Logan out, once and for all. Is that even possible? Deadpool has found a way, but just as he’s about to pull the trigger (so to speak)…the other trap springs! Be here for the completely twisted conclusion! Plus: Celebrate the 25th issue of WOLVERINE: ORIGINS with a special BONUS: the very first appearance of Deadpool, from NEW MUTANTS #98, plotted and penciled by ROB LIEFELD and scripted by FABIAN NICIEZA!
48 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

• Speaking of unnecessary, the 25th issue of this series shouldn't be celebrated, it should be mourned. Really, is Marvel facing insolvency? Is this why we get a lame Liefeld reprint to jack up the price a dollar?

X-MEN ORIGIN: COLOSSUS
Written by CHRIS YOST
Pencils & Cover by TREVOR HAIRSINE
The origin of fan-favorite X-Man Colossus is finally revealed, brought to you by Chris Yost (New X-Men, Messiah Complex) and Trevor Hairsine (X-Men: Deadly Genesis). Deep in the wastes of Siberia, young Piotr Rasputin discovers his mutant abilities -- and becomes the newest target of the ruthless KGB! Guest-starring Professor Xavier.
48 pages/ Rated T+ … $3.99

• Again, another unnecessary book. I hope that Marvel realizes that most of this stuff won't sell. Or, at least would have sold better if they spread it out more.

Now DC:

FINAL CRISIS #1
Written by Grant Morrison
Art and covers by J.G. Jones
Witness the historic start of the final chapter in the Crisis trilogy that could only spring from the mind of Grant Morrison - Final Crisis, featuring stunning art by J.G. Jones (52 Covers)! Worlds will live and heroes will die in this epic tale spanning the beginning and end of the DC Universe!
The entire Multiverse is threatened as the mysterious Libra assembles an army of the DCU's most terrifying super villains. But what is the ultimate plan, and who will live to find out?
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers by J.G. Jones that will ship in approximately 50/50 ratio. Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale May 28 o 1 of 7 o 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

• My snarkiness knows not where to begin. I'll try to restrain myself. I'll only snark about one thing. Libra? The bad guy of the piece is Libra?

THE HUNTRESS: YEAR ONE #1 & 2
Written by Ivory Madison
Art by Cliff Richards and Art Thibert
Cover by Matthew Clark
As the last survivor of a family eliminated by bloody rivalries among the mobs of Gotham, young Helena Bertinelli was sent overseas for her own safety - but began a quest for vengeance instead. Breakout writer Ivory Madison teams with Cliff Richards (WONDER WOMAN) for a continent-spanning story that reveals one woman's journey from hunted to Huntress!
And in issue #2, shipping two weeks later, Helena Bertinelli's vow never to return to Gotham is tested by her vigilante fight to reclaim her inheritance from the Sicilian underworld - and by her unexpected feelings for the son of a Gotham kingpin!
Issue # 1 on sale May 14, issue #2 on sale May 28
1 and 2 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Glad DC is also trying to steal as much money from fans as possible.

RANN/THANAGAR: HOLY WAR #1
Written by Jim Starlin
Art and variant cover by Ron Lim & Rob Hunter
Cover by Starlin & Hunter
After a seemingly endless war, things are getting even worse for the planets of Rann and Thanagar. A long-forgotten religious cult has resurfaced on Thanagar, and the people of Rann still worship the deadly Lady Styx. To make matters worse, a fanatic strapped with explosives threatens to upset the delicate balance between the two planets, setting in motion events that will once again bring together DC's greatest cosmic heroes: Adam Strange, Comet, Starfire, Hawkman, Starman, Chief Justice Max, Tigorr, the Weird and many more!
Written by the legendary Jim Starlin (Death of the New Gods, Infinity War) with art by Ron Lim (Silver Surfer) and Rob Hunter (Teen Titans), Rann/Thanagar: Holy War is an interstellar adventure that can't be missed!
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (with a cover by Jim Starlin & Rob Hunter), retailers may order one copy of the Variant Edition (with a cover by Ron Lim & Hunter). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale May 7 o 1 of 8 o 40 pg, FC, $3.50 US

• At least DC's output is easier to ignore.

THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT #1
Written by Bruce Jones
Art by Al Barrionuevo & Jimmy Palmiotti
Cover by Neal Adams
A lone USAF pilot, about to warn his superiors of the attack on Pearl Harbor, finds his craft suddenly crash-landing on a mysterious island populated with prehistoric creatures and soldiers of wars of the past, present and future - including Tomahawk, Firehair, and Hans Von Hammer, the Enemy Ace! What bizarre force has compelled these military masters of every era to inhabit the same strange territory? Can they survive without killing each other or being devoured by dinosaurs?
Don't miss this incredible miniseries by the team of writer Bruce Jones (Hulk) artists Al Barrionuevo (DETECTIVE COMICS) & Jimmy Palmiotti and legendary cover artist Neal Adams (BATMAN)!
On sale May 7 o 1 of 8 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Were the sales on the WTTF Showcase really that good?

DC SPECIAL: CYBORG #1
Written by Mark Sable
Art by Ken Lashley & Jonathan Glapion
Cover by Lashley
Is Vic Stone - a.k.a. CYBORG - man, machine or monster?
What dark secrets from his past are coming back to haunt him? And just how far will he go to prevent anyone else from suffering his fate? Find out the answer to these questions and more when - for the first time ever, the greatest Teen Titan of them all shines in his own series!
On sale May 21 o 1 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• More proof the big two are trying to rip us off. What? They couldn't wait until the DC Special: Raven series ended? Really?

TOR #1
Written by Joe Kubert
Art and cover by Kubert
Driven into exile by his own people, a young Tor stuggles to survive alone in a periious prehistoric world. But beyond mere existence, Tor struggles for answers to the questions that have plaqued humankind for eons - why are we here? Is violence the only answer? is there more to life than suffering and survival?
His quest will take him deep inside a mysterious mountain - a dark land filled with strange peoples, evolving animals, and death at every turn. And while Tor must fight these battles alone, he will find some new friends along the way -- all the time coming a step closer to what it means to be truly human.
As relevant now as it was when Kubert first created the character, Tor continues to be defined as the lone soul looking for answers in an unforgiving world he barely understands. Beautifully written and illustrated as only Joe Kubert can!
On sale May 7 o 1 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• This might be another series no one really asked for, but it's Kubert, man. He deserves a vanity project every now and then.

BATMAN #677
Written by Grant Morrison
Art by Tony Daniel & Sandu Florea
Cover by Alex Ross
Variant cover by Daniel
Continuing "Batman R.I.P," the epic story that will change the legend of the Dark Knight forever! As the life of Bruce Wayne takes an interesting turn with Jezebel Jet, the life of Batman falls into the ultimate downward spiral.
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. For every 25 copies of the Standard Edition (with a cover by Alex Ross), retailers may order one copy of the Variant Edition (with a cover by Tony Daniel). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale May 28 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Seriously, DC. Do not kill Batman. Seriously.

BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT #1
Written by Steve Niles
Art and cover by Kelley Jones
"There are things that go 'bump' in the night. Be thankful that one of those things is on our side…"
When the full moon rises and casts its eerie glow over the land, the creatures of the night come out to hunt and feast and prey on the innocent citizens of Gotham City, and only one man stands in their way: The Batman.
These are the bizarre and frightening case files of the Dark Knight Detective, featuring grave-robbers, men making monsters, night terrors, and the debut of an all-new moonlight monster known only as Midnight.
In this fatal first issue by the creative team of Steve Niles (30 Days of Night, SIMON DARK) and Kelley Jones (BATMAN: RED RAIN), Batman will come face-to-face with the Master of Fear himself - but just what is the Scarecrow after? And what does it have to do with the Axeman? Could it be some elaborate scheme to trap the Bat? Be here at the beginning - and beware!
On sale May 28 o 1 of 12 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Jones and Niles seem like the perfect match, don't they? Seems odd that it took so long for them to get together.

CATWOMAN #79
Written by Will Pfeifer
Art by David Lopez & Alvaro Lopez
Cover by Adam Hughes
Home sweet home! Catwoman's getting the hell off the Hell Planet, but all's not well back on Earth. Things have changed in Gotham City since she's been gone, and what was once a minor threat has turned into a price on her head! Plus, the return of a face from the past!
On sale May 21 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Well, that suspense is ruined.

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #13
Written by Mark Waid
Art by Jerry Ordway
Cover by Ordway & Bob Wiacek
Batman and Jay Garrick stand against an android samurai with a bad attitude!
On sale May 21 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• I guess Perez has nothing to with this book any more. Well, at least Ordway is on it.

CHECKMATE #26
Written by Bruce Jonesn
Art and cover by Manual Garcia
"Chimera," by Bruce Jones (Hulk) and Manuel Garcia (COUNTDOWN) begins! Left for dead on a Middle East minefield, one soldier's only chance to survive is as a test subject of a dangerous-but-invaluable project run by the Black King. Both the King's wildest hopes and fears will be realized when the project takes a wrong turn, creating a fighter remarkably well-suited for supernatural battles!
On sale May 21 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Yeah, nothing against Jones, but if this means Rucka is gone, I'm gone.

SHADOWPACT #25
Written by Matt Sturges
Art and cover by Phil Winslade
Cover by Tom Derenick and Wayne Faucher
The clarion call to arms sounds for the last time as our heroes roar into battle against a foe that can take down the combined might of three Shadowpact teams!
On sale May 21 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US o FINAL ISSUE

• Final issue? Aw, crap. I liked this series.

THE LOST BOYS: REIGN OF FROGS #1
Written by Hans Rodionoff
Art by Joel Gomez & Don Ho
Cover by Jonathan Wayshak
Before Buffy…before Blade…there was one name that was whispered in fear and awe among the undead: The Frog Brothers. Edgar and Alan Frog, the no-nonsense vampire slayers from the cult film The Lost Boys, are back with a vengeance in a 4-issue miniseries that bridges the gap between their adventures in the original film and the upcoming feature THE LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE, due to be released this summer. Find out what's happened since the first film, brought to you in various shades of crimson by Hans Rodionoff (Mnemovore) and Joel Gomez (Wetworks)!
On sale May 14 o 1 of 4 o 32 pg, FC, $3.50 US o MATURE READERS

• Wow. This is...wow. Mind boggling.

CASEY BLUE: BEYOND TOMORROW #1
Written by B. Clay Moore
Art and cover by Carlo Barberi & Drew Geraci
From the creative genius of B. Clay Moore (Hawaiian Dick, JSA) and Carlo Barberi (Gen13) comes a dangerous, thrilling action-packed adventure in which a young woman rapidly comes to terms with her strange, incredible new life!
Casey Blue is an average high school senior - she studies hard with an eye toward college, enjoys extracurricular sports, and likes spending time with friends and family...until the moment she savagely murders a stranger with her bare hands, leading to revelations about her role in preventing a full-scale invasion of earth! The only problem? She has no idea she's humanity's salvation!
On sale May 21 o 1 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

• Believe it or not, I sent a proposal to Image imprint Shadowline with this very concept. Only difference is that my girl didn't kill anyone. But every thing else--high school girl, invasion of Earth, having no idea she's humanities salvation--was the same. I guess I'm not winning that contest. And that B. Clay Moore is now my mortal enemy. And perhaps hearing from my lawyers.

CROSSING MIDNIGHT #19
Written by Mike Carey
Art by Jim Fern & Jose Villarrubia
Cover by J.H. Williams III
War. That's what the Haras' simple wish for a safely born child has led to. Now, with destruction at every turn, the last battle is between Kai, Toshi and Aratsu, but how many of their newfound allies will die before their conflict reaches its bloody conclusion?
On sale May 28 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US o MATURE READERS o Final issue

• Another Vertigo property bites the dust. Could Scalped be next?

HOUSE OF MYSTERY #1
Written by Matthew Sturges & Bill Willingham
Art by Luca Rossi
Cover by Sam Weber
Variant cover by Bernie Wrightson
Matthew Sturges, writer of the Eisner-nominated JACK OF FABLES, and his JACK co-writer Bill Willingham, proudly unlock the doors to the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, a new ongoing series that reinvents a classic DC Comics concept. HOUSE OF MYSTERY focuses on five characters trapped in a supernatural bar, trying to solve the mystery of how and why they're imprisoned there. Each one has a terrible past they'd like to forget, and with no books, newspapers or TV allowed in the House, they face an eternity of boredom. But stories become the new currency, and fortunately, the House attracts only the finest storytellers.
In addition to the ongoing trials and struggles of the five unfortunate souls trapped within the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, illustrated by superstar artist Luca Rossi, each issue in the first storyline also includes a short tale, as told by one of the customers, written by Willingham and illustrated by a host of fine guest artists, including two-time Eisner Award nominee Ross Campbell (WATERBABY, Wet Moon), SANDMAN fan favorite and multiple Eisner winner Jill Thompson, and classic horror artist Bernie Wrightson, whose first published work was in House of Mystery #179. This series is topped off with ethereal, jaw-dropping covers from Sam Weber (The New Yorker, The New York Times, Time Magazine)and a stunning variant cover by Wrightson on the debut issue.
"This is a book where you can have a pirate, a psychic detective, a spaceman, a French romantic poet and an NYU film student sitting at a table having a beer together. It's a writer's dream come true." - Matthew Sturges
"Let's be perfectly clear: There isn't just one mystery in the new House of Mystery. It's actually chock-full of mysteries, all of which will be thrilling and exciting as they unfold over the course of the series." - Bill Willingham
Retailers please note: This issue will ship with two covers. For every 10 copies of the Standard Edition (with a cover by Sam Weber), retailers may order one copy of the Variant Edition (with a cover by Bernie Wrightson). Please see the Previews Order Form for more information.
On sale May 7 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US o MATURE READERS

• Man, I have to get this one. Thank goodness I'm getting rid of Checkmate.

JLA TROPHY ROOM: Superman's Cape and Belt Prop Replica Set

The JLA Trophy Room prop replica program continues for 2008 with Superman's Cape and Belt!

These life-sized, high-quality, mixed-media replicas of two of the most important pieces of Superman's costume each feature authentic secret compartments! The lined, red fabric cape features the S-shield sewn meticulously onto the back, while a hidden pocket is sewn into the lining of the cape for Superman to quickly stash any of Clark Kent's personal effects! The accompanying faux-leather yellow belt fastens with a metal buckle that opens to reveal another secret compartment. Both pieces of this prop replica set can be displayed from the metal wall display shelf included, with the cape hanging from the bottom and the belt sitting on top.

Packaged together in an 4-color box, the cape measures approximately 56" long, 53" wide at the bottom and 20" wide at the top, the belt measures 36" long, and the display shelf measures approximately 22" long x 3.25" high x 5.25" deep. Also included are a Certificate of Authenticity and a "Guide to the Trophy Room" brochure, written by best-selling author Brad Meltzer!

Minor assembly is required.

Advance-solicited; on sale October 1, 2008
" Prop Replica * $295 US

• $300 for a cape and a belt? Wow. I'm obsessive, but even I draw the line somewhere.

The Gates Ombudsman: 2/19/08

• 

  Ombudsman,-header

• A New Guiding Line Column is up: This week, I cover Spirit #14, Cable and Deadpool #50, Superman/Batman #46, Zorro #1, Perhapanauts Annual #1, Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter #1, The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite #6, Immortal Iron Fist: Orson Randall and the Green Mist of Death, Loaded Bible 3: Communion, and Aspen Showcase: Grace #1.
• Lindsay Lohan appears nude in New York magazine: Yeah, just before all you horndogs click that link, just remember that just a few short years ago she looked like this:
  
  
  
  
  
  

  Lindsay_lohan
• Gambit cast in Wolverine movie: Because, you know, Marvel really really wants to put him in a movie, Who cares if he really doesn't fit. And Liev Schreiber is playing Sabretooth? Really?
• New Guardians of the Galaxy series could be good: But it's not really the Guardians of the Galaxy. I hope you know that.
• Brave and the Bold to be DC's next cartoon: YES!!!!
• MENSA chairman picks the 10 smartest shows of all time: I think Mad About You is only on the list just so angry people will blog about it. I mean, Star Trek was way smarter than Mad About You.
• USA Today covers the Red Hulk: And the Red Hulk is news, why?
• New York magazine advises people to send hair to ABC in order to save "Cavemen": This and the Lindsay Lohan thing means that New York Magazine must have suffered a greivous head injury. Did they move April Fool's to February?

 

Movie: Definitely, Maybe and the trailer before it.

Definitely maybe

So, the wife and I decided to take advantage of us both being off today and go to movies. After a little bit of a late lunch, our only options were this Definitely,Maybe and Jumper (we were too late for There Will Be Blood. So I guess my milkshake is safe). My wife won out, and we saw this one.

This movie is not recommended for people with a low tolerance for "cute". People act cute, meet cute, talk cute and are cute.

I have a low cute tolerance, but the actors, for me, dampened the treacle to tolerable levels.

Ryan Reynolds is charming, but restrained. He is not his usual, wise cracking, smarmy self. Isla Fisher is even more charming.

The movie is billed as a mystery romantic comedy, as Reynolds relates "how he met your mother" to his 10 year old daughter. The mother's identity is kept secret until almost to the very end. Who is it? The least likely suspect. This is not a spoiler, becuase anyone familiar with movie conventions will be able to figure this out.

All in all, I think it is a good time in spite of it's foibles. It does hold a bit of emotional impact, and you'll be feeling for the characters by the end.

Now, the trailers:

• Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns: Wow. Angela Basset is in a Tyler Perry movie. This means something. I just don't care to find out what.
• The Other Boleyn Girl: Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman? In the same movie? And Scarlett shows just a bit of skin? I am so there, dude!
• Leatherheads: You know what? Hollywood should do some more screwball comedies. This looks good, but I'm not sure I buy the love triangle. The ages are just too disparate for me.
• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The wife and me "Oohed" when this came one. Yeah, I had doubts that Harrison Ford might be too old for this part, but they are gone. We are so going to see it.
• Baby Mama: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler? In the same movie? I am so there dude! Even if it is a chick flick comedy. 

Hollywood make-up artists should show more dedication in their work.

I recently re-stumbled upon a publicity still from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Something about it bothered me then, and it still bothers me now:

 

Dawn-Of-The-Dead

See the belly on that Zombie? How pink and healthy it looks? That took me right out of the picture.

Now, granted, I understand that the make-up artist probably figured that the extra's shirt would rise up like that as he ran, but still. It takes a bit away from it.

Yes, I do know that this is the definition of nit-picking, and I am score major "Get a Life" points with this, but I thought I'd share.

Guess my favorite movies by their quotes.

I got this meme from Redhead Fangirl. Here are the rules:

1. Pick 10 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

Please try to participate. I'd like to see how close people get:

1. Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.

2. That gives us exactly... forty minutes to get the fuck out of Dodge. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.

3. Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

4. No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

5. I dated this girl for a while... she was really a... nasty freak. She just loved to... get down with... sex all the time. It was like... anytime of day... she was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty!" And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! cool!"

6. Oh... one other thing. If you guys ever have kids and one of them when he's eight years old accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.

7. It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.

8. Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?

9. You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.

10. The man is hurting! He's alone, tired, and he hasn't seen diddly-squat from anybody down here. Now you're going to stand there and tell me that he's going to give a damn about what you do to him, IF he makes it out of there alive? Why don't you wake up and smell what you're shoveling?

Get to guessing!

TV: The new Knight Rider (what I saw of it) is good.

Kitt2007

The first Knight Rider series was a guilty pleasure from my youth. I used to love watching it. For the younger me, the real star was KITT. I was too young to be impressed by David Hasselhoff's roguish charm. But a talking, invulnerable car? Sign me up.

I have fond memories of my father saying "turbo boost" when the family station wagon entered a highway. So, I was hesitant to watch the Knight Rider movie tonight. Especially after what NBC did with the Bionic Woman revamp. But the wife and I watched it anyway.

And whatever they did wrong with Bionic Woman they did right with Knight Rider. Where the Bionic Woman was morose, the Knight Rider had just a little bit of fun.

It wasn't campy as the original series. But there was enough humor to make the watching interesting. The only problem was that the power went out in my condo four times during the show. Each time, my cable box had to reboot, and it took about 10 minutes each time. So we missed a good part of the show.

I don't know how many people watched it, but I kinda hope they pick it up for a series. The cast is pretty good (Sydney Poitier, Bruce Davidson) and Val Kilmer is perfect as the voice of KITT. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this version of Knight Rider.

The Gates Ombusman: 02/17/08

Ombudsman,-header

Here is a round up of some news articles that caught my eye in the last several weeks.

• Rock band Boston tells Mike Huckabee to not to use their song: Isn't it just like those commie lib rock stars to not to continue to allow Huckabee to use "More Than a Feeling" without payment or permission? Or even Huckabee asking? Maybe Mike can use "The Eyes of the Ranger are Upon you" for his next rally.
• When will your favorite show return, post strike? Here is an hourly updated list: Bad news for Journeyman, Big Shots, and Bionic Woman. Because it doesn't look like they're coming back EVER. Wow. Who would of thought that a lame, male remake of Sex in the City, a lame ripoff of Quantum Leap, and a completely joyless revamp of Bionic Woman wouldn't resonate with the audiences?
• Rucka and Brubaker are on an upcoming Daredevil arc: One word describes my feelings about this:Glee!
• Fall Out Boy comes to comics: I'd make a joke about this be another way they are ripping off My Chemical Romance, but I actually like the band. But good luck with that deal with Dabel Brothers.
• Toy Fair Opens: Yes, I am totally wishing I was there.
• Pop Candy has another entry in their comic crash course: This time, Whitney covers kid-friendly books.
• FOX sues Warners over Watchmen: Yeah, because their holding on to the rights for a movie that they never intended to make is very important. Or, that they have Warner's over a barrel and want to make a quick buck.

My writing on the Internet.

There have been two recent occurances of my writing hiting the Internet this week.

First off is my weekly Guiding Lines column, this week, I covered Fantastic Four #554, Fantastic Four: The Lost Adventure, Booster Gold #0, Ghost Rider #20, Next Issue Project #1: Fantastic Comics #24, Spider-Man Family #7, Tiny Titans #1, X-Force #1, and Spooks #1.

 Also, I reviewed The Nightmare Factory treade paperback over at PopMatters.

Please, go check these out!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Play: Macbeth, BAM Harvey/Chichester Theatre, February 16, 2008

Macbeth ticket

This weekend we had a couple of friends up this week, and we saw Patrick Stewart in Macbeth. Being that three of the four of us are Stewart fans from Star Trek, and I am an extra fan of his from his work in the X-Men movies, we had a little more than a geek interest in the play.

I also like Shakespeare, and I believe this was the first Shakespeare play I saw.

We met up with two other friends, both of who were actors, one who performed as Macbeth back in Pennsylvania. We were six in all, and each of us there for a different reason.

So, how was it? Great, but your opinion might vary.

This was an updating of Macbeth, and even though they kept the references to Scotland and England, it appears to have been set in WWII era Soviet Union.

 

Stewart as Macbeth

This is not what you might think of a Macbeth performance. Army Fatigues and guns replace tights and swords. It is a definite hi-tech adaptation. of the play, with rear projections, unique staging, and actors coming out into the audience.

Since the production is more modern than many would expect, some in the audience were torn in how the play was portrayed. Some thought some things director Rupert Goold did were a mistake. I thought they were artistic and daring. Sure, at times it was a lot of style over substance, but it worked more often than not.

Stewart, because of his genre work, doesn't get a fair shake. But I believe any of his doubters out there should see him do this show. He usually plays the gentile good guy. Here, he plays a rough hewn warrior who slowly slips into madness. It is a different character that I have ever seen him play. He was scary and funny, noble and weak, usually at the same time. He truly is a great actor.

He is supported by a great cast as well, most I believe were British. They say the best way to understand Shakespeare is to see it performed. This cast more than proved that point.

The most effective staging was with the witches. They were creepy and spoke almost in rap. It was very powerful, dark and nefarious. I was really impressed by this.

The rest of the run at BAM is sold out, but there is a rumor that the show will be moving to Broadway for a 3 week run. If this happens, try to see it. Especially, if you like risky and daring adaptations of classic works.  

DC's Family Dynamic: "there are a lot of unimaginative people out there..."

So, for some reason I have been following this thread over at Newsarama announcing the new series from J. Torres, The Family Dynamic. I was especially struck by the description of the title, which features a family of heroes:

Sloan, a.k.a. Pyralis the fire elemental, is the dad and leader of the team. He's an army recruiter by day and tries to run the team almost like his own little unit. Gina, a.k.a. Sirocco the air elemental, is the mom and she's a homemaker, the peacekeeper, and the one who keeps the family from becoming too dysfunctional. The kids are Luca (mid-teens), a.k.a. Troylus the water elemental, and Gio (early teens), a.k.a. Terran the earth elemental. The older one is a music lover who takes after his Aunt Maeve (who owns a record company) more than anyone else, while the baby of the family tries to take after his dad and has a love of corn dogs.

Knee jerk, immediate reaction, is that this is very much like a hybrid of the Fantastic Four, Elementals, Noble Causes and the Incredibles. In other words, kinda deriverative.

I was not alone in thinking this, and, this being Newsarama, the post listing the comparisons flew on for about three pages (with, to be fair, a lot of posts of people saying how cool the concept was, and that they looked forward to reading it.)

After the most recent (as of this writing) post was of someone asking if they were the only ones who thought it was just like The Incredibles. Mr. Torres, who was answering the fans all along, posted this:

Probably not, but I suppose some people comment without reading the articles...

Sounds kind of snippy, right?

On one hand, I can see his point. About half of the posts were people (myself included) pointing out the similarities. I can see getting a little sick and tired of the repetition of that. And he did mention this in the article in response to how much FD resembles other works:

While we play with certain archetypes, and not just the Marvel ones, much like Astro City we also try and expand on certain themes and add elements (no pun intended) like the extended family, connections to the previous generation, the "dynamics" between siblings and half-siblings and cousins all within a superhero context. For example, while we have our quartet, there's also a female dynamic duo called Blackbird and Little Wing that's "part of the family." The Dynamics' powers are also tied into myth and magic, and we have some fun those elements.

On the other hand, if Mr. Torres was sick and tired of The Family Dynamic being compared to the FF, Incredibles, et al, then he should not have made it so much like the FF, Incredibles, et al. That kind of similarity cannot be come upon accidentally. Sure, he will probably go in a different direction than Marvel or Pixar did, but he is coming from the same place.

His concept is, flat out, derivirative. I mean, most comics are these days. He is not alone in this. But to get upset at his people pointing out how unoriginal his unoriginal project is show a lack of awareness of what he is doing. He'd be better saying "Listen, yes, it is a family with superpowers, like the FF. But I think I can bring stuff to that concept that no one has done before." Instead we get snippiness.

However, in the immortal words of the rap group ONYX,' B-b-b-b-ut wait it gets worse".

I signed up for e-mail reminders from this thread, So I know if anybody replied. The e-mail actually contains the body of the post in the e-mail, so you don't even have to click back to the website.

When I read Mr. Torres post on Newsarama, something seemed off. I pulled the notification e-mail out of my junk e-mail folder, and found out what was wrong. This is the content of the original e-mail:

Dear GATES71,

J. Torres has just replied to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - J. TORRES: INTRODUCING THE FAMILY DYNAMIC - in the FEATURES forum of NEWSARAMA.

This thread is located at:
http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=146338&goto=newpost

Here is the message that has just been posted:
***************
Probably not, but there are a lot of unimaginative people out there...
***************

There may be other replies also, but you will not receive any more notifications until you visit the forum again.

All the best,
NEWSARAMA

There appears to have been editing going on (and not by me either, this is pasted here as I got it). As you can see from the e-mail, what Mr. Torres wrote was some what different.

I wonder why Mr. Torres edited his statement? Was it because it was too harsh? Or was it because he was calling some one unimaginative when he himself was being unimaginative in the work being promoted? Was it because he was respectful of the previous poster's feelings? Or because he didn't want to get called on the carpet for his hypocracy.

Mr. Torres, if you read the thread, has been schilling The Family Dynamic non-stop, even with the cries that it's like other projects. It is creator-owned, so that might mean that Torres gets a higher percentage of money if it does well. But I was hesitant to pick it up even before this latest faux pas. Now, I am definitely not going to pick it up. This comment from Torres sealed that. I guess I have to accept ramant lack of originality in comics these days. That has been a fact of life for over thirty years. But I'd like a little less arrogance out of the people doing the deriverative work. It would make me believe them when they said they were sincerely trying to bring something new to the hackneyed old idea.

This outburst by Torres could have just been an abberation, an out of character moment brought on by frustration. But, being the savvy self-promoter he showed he was earlier in the thread, he should have known what he was trying to sell, it's assets and drawbacks, and not get all pouty when someone points out how derivirative it is.  

Valentine's Day: Everyone else is doing, why can't I?

Following quickly in the footsteps of Chris and my pal, Jeff, I have decided to take advantage of the time before my class to make up my own (quasi) funny valentines. If you click the links, you will see I basically did variations on a theme.

 

Ama_sm545 valentine copy

 

SKRULL VALENTINE

 

Countdown valentine

I was going to do an All-Star Batman one, but I'm afraid the amount of "Goddamn"'s I would use would scare the kiddies.

Sad News: R.I.P. Steve Gerber

Sg4newblog

Steve Gerber, creator of Howard the Duck, Omega the Unknown and many other characters, succumbed to his battle with pulmonary fibrosis. He was 60.

I would say more, but I can't top what Mark Evanier said, so I will just direct you to him.

How geeky am I?

Avclub_logo

Over at the Onion A.V. Club, they have a listing of the "20 pop culture obsessions geekier than Monty Python". And they should know geeky because what is geekier than being the serious offshoot of an organization that devotes its time to writing fake news articles because it's funny. It's named the A.V. Club for a reason.

Anyway, I decided to take this as a test to see how geeky I am. I will give myself five points for any of the 20 that I am a fan of, have attended, or have participated in. I don't dress up so I am not the rabid fan I believe they are talking about, so take that into consideration if you are scoring at home. Here we go:

1. Star Trek:

Yeah, I'm a fan. Mostly of the first series. I did a little happy dance when I got volume one and three of the original series at a store's going out of business sale. I'm even down loading the Gold Key comics off of WOWIO.  So, this is one strike against me.

Verdict: Guilty.

2. Renaissance Faires:

I have attended more than one. I could make the argument that I only went because someone I knew was in the cast, but that wouldn't be fair, since I enjoy them. 

Verdict: Guilty.

3. Fantasy Sports Leagues:

Yeah, I'm in these big time. Multiple sports and for every sport I am in multiple leagues. The A.V. makes a point of how bad it is that you have to root for a player to do well against your favorite team, like it's a sin. The point is, I always root for the player to do good, but for my team to do better. That's the secret.

Verdict: Guilty

4.  Michael Jackson:

I own a greatest hits album of his and also of the Jackson 5. Outside of that, I couldn't be bothered.

Verdict: Not Guilty.

5. Wikipedia:

I'll cop to this one. I am not a habitual updater of the site, but I use it a lot in my writing (with everything I take from there taken with a grain of salt). So I'll cop to this one.

Verdict: Guilty.

6. Battlestar Galactica:

I own the first season but have yet to watch it. Will I become obsessed with it? Probably. But as of yet I am not.

Verdict: Not Guilty.

7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show:

I have seen one, ONE, midnight showing of the movie in my life. I did not dress up in character, but I had a good time. I will probably never dress up (because I look awful in fishnets) but I may go again. So, I'll cop to this one too.

Verdict: Guilty

8. Joss Whedon:

Yes, yes, yes. Love Firefly. I have the full run of Buffy on DVD waiting to be watched, and Astonishing X-Men, Buffy  and Runaways in my comic pull list. So, yes.

Verdict: Guilty

9. Media-specific role-playing:

I have role-played about a grand total of twice in my entire 36 years. Not that I have anything against it, but the crowd I hung with in hish school, geeky though it was, wasn't big into it. If I played, I would probably be obsessed with it, but I'm not.

And that goes for media specific too.

Verdict: Not Guilty

10. Magic: The Gathering:

I never got into card-based role playing either. A little after my time (although my wife, who is the same age, used to collect Magic card, so that argument doesn't hold water)

Verdict: Not Guilty

11. World of Warcraft:

It's a streak of role-playing games I never got into. The reason I never got into WoW is because my internet connection speed was dial-up for most of the game's existence, which precluded me from joining in.

Verdict: Not Guilty

12. The Simpsons:

We are back in the Guilty column. Love the Simpsons. I quote the lines, sing the songs, and imitate the voices. At the aforementioned going out of business sale, I completed my set oif DVD set of the series. I did another happy dance.

Verdict: Guilty

13. Doctor Who:

Yes. I love Doctor Who, and I love the mythology. I watch the show whenever I can.

Verdict: Guilty.

14. Frank Zappa:

No, unfortunately. I have heard a song or two, but I am not a humongous fan.

Verdict: Not Guilty

15. Game Show Tape Trading:

No. I didn't even know this existed. It sounds somewhat intriguing, but no.

Verdict: Not Guilty 

16. Anime:

No. I like Anime better than Manga, but neither really cut it for me.

Verdict: Not Guilty.

17. Coplay:

Again, this involves dressing up. And I will never dress up. Because I am too fat and there aren't a lot of fat characters in pop culture for us fatties to dress up as.

Verdict: Not Guilty

18. Live-Action Role Playing:

See above, about role-playing and dressing up. Although I do find this interesting is a "so-crazy-it-might-be-fun" sort of way.

Verdict: Not Guilty

19. Second Life/MySpace/Facebook:

I am not obsessed with these in a "getting as many friends" sort of way, but more in the functionality of it. I love the games in Facebook and getting in touch with bands on MySpace. I am not on Second Life, but I am in Friendster and ComicSpace. Look me up.

Verdict Guilty

20. Fanfic:

I have nothing against fan fiction, I just don't participate. I feel my efforts would be better spent to try and get a job writing the characters for real than writing them for free.

Verdict: Not Guilty

Let's see. That's 9 out of 20, so I am 45% geeky, according to the A.V. club.

I am thankful they didn't include Comics, Action Figure collecting, Sci-Fi novels, video games, music or anything else I am obsessed about. If they did, that score would be much higher,