QotD: Pants on Fire

Tell us two truths and a lie about yourself.

 1. I am double jointed

2. I can play the piano

3. I was a conservative as a teen.

Vox Hunt: Comical

Book: Show us a great comic book.

Just one?

 

New Avengers Vol. 2: Sentry

Brian Michael Bendis

The Avengers, as I have mentioned before, are my favorite comic book. So far, I have liked what Bendis has done with the New Avengers title. So, instead of answering this with an as if not more worthy Watchmen or Dark Knight Returns, I choose this.

Book: Hollywood Babylon

Hollywood Babylon: The Legendary Underground Classic of Hollywood's Darkest and Best Kept Secrets

Kenneth Anger

In preparation for my trip out to Los Angeles, I picked up a guide book that listed locations of historical importance to movies and television in Los Angeles. They could be movie studios, shooting locations, and. more often then not, the places where some of the greatest tragedies in Hollywood occured.

In listing the places where these suicides, murders and other nefarious acts took place, they also mentioned Hollywood Babylon, which supposedly was supposed to go into more detail into them.

Obviously, I had to get it.

See, I have a morbid, dark side. I am also, I am ashamed to say, very nosy. I need to have the story behind the story. So, when I heard of the content of this book, I had to check it out.

The book reads like a it was written by a casual acquaintence who likes to impress you with the amount of gossip they can spread.

Originally written in 1954, with a chapter or two written after for later editions to cover the deaths of Marilyn Monroe, Sharon Tate, Jayne Mansfield, and others, the book mainly covers the early days of Hollywood, from the turn of the century to the 1940's.

There seems to be a popular belief that the years prior to the 1960s were a simpler, more innocent time. If the stories in this book are to be believed, they most certainly weren't. Rock 'n Roll wasn't around at the time, so they made due with more Sex and Drugs.

If I had to pick one word to describe the book, the word would be lurid. Not only in detailing the stories, but also in the inclusion crime scene photos of corpses or the rich and famous and pictures of many a star in the nude. Some of it is in bad taste, made more so by some of the captions included. This is not a book for the faint of heart or the easily offended.

It is a quick read and interesting if you take it with a grain of salt. It did provide me with a story idea. A Vertigoesque one which will probably never see the light of day.

New Guiding Lines column up.

Yes, another Tuesday, another Guiding Lines column. This week I cover Silver Surfer: Requiem #1, Ultimate Fantastic Four #42, The Boys #7, Kiss 4K #1, Action Comics #850, Spawn: Godslayer #1, Teen Titans #47 and Drawing from Life #1.

Movies: Weekend Box Office. How did I do?

This is what I predicted:

1. Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
   
2. Shrek the Third
   
3. Spider-Man 3
   
4. Disturbia
   
5. 28 Weeks Later

And this is how it ended up

1. Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
   
2. Shrek the Third
   
3. Spider-Man 3
   
4. Bug 
   
5. Waitress

So, I got the first three right. Which is nice. I completely underestimated Bug. Maybe the generally good reviews I saw for it was what drew the people in. And Waitress has the makings of a feel-good indie hit of the summer. That is if any movie whose director was tragically strangled in her own apartment could be a "feel-good" hit. More bittersweet than feel-good I think. 

 

But I do take a certain amount of glee in the fact that Pirates did not knock off Spidey 3 as highest 3-day weekend of all time. See, Disney? You should consider how I will look the next time you give out phony theater counts! That'll show ya!

 

So. after 5 weeks of doing this, I am 14 for 25, for an average of .560. And, no. I don't know why my average went up after scoring less correct than I did last week. And yes, I am calculating the average right. I think.

Damn you Disney!

Yeah, the numbers I reported all of yesterday, which I got from the usually reliable Box Office Mojo, were wrong with theater counts. PotC: At World's End is actually in over 4,300 theaters, breaking the record Spidey set.

I believe that it still won't break Spidey 3's record because they cursed them themselves by making me look foolish in my blog. I am fate's favorite! Cross me at you peril! Eat it, Disney!

Yeah, I'm getting way too worked up over a movie.

Happy 30th Star Wars!!!!

Star wars movie poster

30 years ago today (as I am writing this on early Friday morning), Star Wars first opened. Yes, the movie that helped to define my childhood is 30. God, I'm old.

This week's movie openings.

Bug

1. Bug (1,661 Theaters): Yeah, not too excited about this one. Apparently, it's about two people who are stuck in a motel room who believe that they may be infested with bugs. One, I am not a big fan of bugs. I'm not all "EEK! A bug!: or anything like that, but I'd rather not pay money to see a movie about them. Two,  "are they crazy, are they not" movies really annoy me. After about a half an hour of them asking the question, if no longer care.

I love the marketing for this film. All the ads mention "from the Oscar Winning director of the Exorcist, William Friedkin". First off, he won the Oscar for the French Connection, not the Exorcist. Second, he won the Oscar 36 years ago and the Exorcist came out 34 years ago. Since that time Friedkin has been doing, ehhh, outside of "To Live and Die in L.A.", pretty much nothing. Unless you're the type to think that "Blue Chips" or "Rules of Engagement" were all-time classics.

What they are trying to get us to think is that Friedkin is a good director (hence, the mention of the Oscar) who is good at creepy horror movies (hence the Exorcist mention). Therefore, the movie has to be good. That's not always the case.

I don't really think it matters much. I can't see it doing to well against the heavy hitter out there. Am I wrong for expecting a "Shrek Stomps Bug" headline in the future?

 

At world's end

2. Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (4,000 Theaters): Then we come to this. The third of the big summer releases.

The big story about this, to me at least, is whether or not it will knock Spidey 3 off as the highest grossing weekend of all time. A lot of articles are stating their case one way or another.

I think that it won't. Here's why.

One, it is a half hour longer than Spidey 3 and in 250 less theaters. You do the math.

Some might say that since, technically, it opens tonight and has a longer, holiday weekend to work with, it's a lock on the top spot. But usually they don't count the extra days. The weekend total is actually a three-day total. So the extra days on either side really don't add much.

I think that it will do well, don't get me wrong. But odds are against it breaking the record.

The wife and I are planning on seeing it, probably sometime this weekend, if only to see how Captain Jack rejoins the cast. At the end of the last movie, he was swallowed by a Kraken. Since Johnny Depp is, in many people's opinion, the main draw of the movie, I doubt that he'll be back any later than about a half an hour in. I want to see how they pull that off.

So, what do I think the top five will be?

1. Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End
2. Shrek the Third
3. Spider-Man 3
4. Disturbia
5. 28 Weeks Later

News Update: Bush now Emperor, Rosie vs. Elisabeth on the next Smackdown

Two items of "real news" importance that caught my eye that I would like to share.

First, this article on Progressive.org, states the Dubya has issued a directive stating that in times of great national emergency, the President takes control of the entire government, basically telling the legislative and judicial what to do. Liberals are up and arms over this.

This only seems like a bad idea because Dubya suggested it. When the fit hits the shan, you need a strong leader to come in and make sure things run right. Someone like Lincoln, FDR and JFK. Dubya is nothing like them but likes to think he is. 

Some people seem to believe this is a way for Dubya to install himself as President for life. All he needs is a terrorist attack or a bad hurricane to hit near January of 2009 and bingo, Dubya sticks around indefinitely. 

See, I doubt that the American people will stand for that for very long.  This was a country founded on revolution. Why do you thing the founding fathers included the 2nd Amendment anyway? I'm just sayin'!

So, I am not worried about a dictatorship. Even Dubya isn't dumb enough to try it.

Also, here's a video link for you.

 

5/23/07Cat Fight on the View, Rosie vs Elizabeth

Yeah, it's from the View. I don't watch it. I just came across the story in my internet travels. Apparently, Joy Behar was listing a reason why Dubya should be ousted. It was mostly jokey (she lists that he choked on a pretzel as a reason. While I am not comfortable that the leader of the free world cannot chew his food correctly, I don't think that that is grounds for impeachment.) but that didn't stop Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who, as a surprise to me, is a rampant Republican, from trying to talk over Joy so she could make her points. I guess she had to read a hand out on how to belittle opposing points of view when she drank the "Dubya is great" kool-aid.

This ranks right up there with "If you criticize the war, you are not supporting the troops" and one of the most used and most odious tactics. The whole "I DON'T WANT THE PEOPLE TO HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING SO I AM GOING TO YELL RUDELY OVER YOU AS YOU TRY TO MAKE YOUR POINT' thing. Why do they do this? Because they can't argue with reason.

At the end, there is some Rosie and Elisabeth personal conflict. Watching two strangers argue is always good for a good time. And Rosie actually comes out looking as the better of the two, in a expressing her point of view way at least.

Oh, and Congress has decided to let Bush's funding request go through without a pullout date attached, just as Bush wanted. Good going, Congress. I know 12-year old girls who can stick to their guns better than you guys.  

Oh, thank god.

Jordan sparks

New Guiding Lines column up.

It's Tuesday, so there's a new Guiding Lines column up. This week I cover Captain America #26, Marvel Adventures Iron Man #1, Death and the Man Who Would Not Die #1, Homeless Channel, Criminal #6, Superman/Batman #35, & Gutsville #1. Go check it out, please.

Oh, DC's August Solicitations, you make me laugh!

POWER GIRL 13" DELUXE COLLECTOR FIGURE
Feel the Power!
POWER GIRL is the newest female addition to DC Direct's line of realistically proportioned, super-heroic 1:6 scale figures! This deluxe collector figure comes clothed in an authentically detailed fabric costume and includes a display stand. Packaged in a deluxe 4-color window box with a fifth panel.
Advance-solicited; on sale January 2, 2008
Collector figure o $69.99 US

 

BWAH-HA-HA! Power Girl! BWAH-HA-HA! "realistically proportioned!" BWAH-HA-HA! In the same sentence! BWAH-HA-HA!

Oh, good one, DC Solicitations! Good one!

CNN.com, the Pulse tick me off.

Here's a couple of headlines I want you to look at. Two that really bother me.

• CNN.com: Big green ogre stomps Spidey
• The Pulse: Shrek Stomps Spidey.

Now, it's not the fact that stomping has become the action most identified with Shrek, or the witty use of alliteration in each. It's the headlines themselves. It gives readers the idea that Shrek has completely dominated Spider-Man 3, that Spidey 3 is week and lame compared to Shrek, box office gross-wise.

Okay, granted. Shrek 3 made about 4 times as much as Spider-Man did THIS WEEK. And on the surface, that might seem like a stomping. But let's look at it a little closer.

Spider-Man 3 is in its third weekend of release. Most of the people who really wanted to see it have already seen it. Now is the time when people who are not willing to stand in line for an hour and people on their third or four viewing come to see it. Of course it is going to do less than Shrek the Third. That's a given. Shrek was highly anticipated and in its first weekend. I doubt even the folks who made Spidey three thought it would be number one this week.

But Spidey 3 still did fairly well this weekend. It grossed over five times as much as the number 3 movie, Disturbia. As a matter of fact, it grossed more than the 17 movies below it COMBINED.

And while Shrek's $122 Million opening was good enough to rank as the third highest grossing opening weekend of all time. it was a full $30 Million less than Spidey 3's opening just several weeks before.

But the knee jerk reaction by looking at those headlines is that Shrek was far superior to Spidey 3. And, when you think about it, it wasn't.

I believe news outlets sometimes report about how they wish things were, not how the really are. People are influenced by these type of stories and a lot of them think that box office grosses automatically translate into quality. I believe that all the articles saying that Grindhouse was a disappointment was one of the reasons it didn't do so well in the theaters. I think the overall grosses would have been higher if word of mouth were allowed to spread uninterrupted. But it had to compete with articles saying thet the opening grosses were "disappointing", which translates into some peoples mind as that it was not good enough for people to go see it. So it didn't do as well.

I just wish writers were a little more responsible with their writing. Sure, a variation of Shrek Stomps Spidey makes for good copy, and is accurate when it comes to the small picture. But in the big picture, it really doesn't hold up.  

Vox Hunt: My Favorite Soundtrack

Audio: Show us your favorite movie soundtrack. 
Submitted by miyagawa. 

That Thing You Do!: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Various Artists

This is an oddball choice, but I'd have to say my favorite soundtrack is the "That Thing You Do!" soundtrack. I just love the idea that all the songs were carefully created to seem like they came from the 60s. It's campy, goofy, and kitchy, but it's also good, catchy and memorable at the same time.  

Movie: Weekend Box Office. How did I do?

This is what I predicted:

1. Shrek the Third
   
2. Spider-Man 3
   
3. 28 Days Later
   
4. Disturbia
   
5. Georgia Rules.

And this is how it turned out.

1. Shrek the Third
   
2. Spider-Man 3
   
3. 28 Days Later
   
4. Disturbia
   
5. Georgia Rules.

100% correct! If only they put out 1 movie every week!

So, after 4 weeks, I am 11 out of 20. My average is up to .550. Yes! It won't last, but yes!

 

Movie: Shrek the Third and the previews before it.

Shrek_the_third

Let me tell you my favorite scene in the movie. Part of it appeared in the trailer, but it is even better fleshed out in the actual movie. (And me telling you this spoils nothing, so feel free to read).

Okay, our heroes need to get into a castle, the front gate of which is guarded by two sentient trees. Snow White appears in the clearing ahead of them and starts to sing. It has been established that whenever Snow starts to sing, the animals gather around her. So, while she performs her lilting song, all the woodland creatures scamper over to her. Then her lilting singing turns into the valkrye cry that opens Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song. Under the thumping, driving beat, the animals attack the trees, pecking, scratching, and biting them.

I got goosebumps when this happened and I don't know why. Maybe because that was my Led Zep song. Or maybe because Snow is animated as a blue-eyed brunette, which is my "type". Or maybe because Amy Poehler does such a great job acting as her voice. Or maybe because I simply hate trees. But I simply loved this scene.

I liked the movie as well. I mean, not as much as this scene, but it was good. There were parts that dragged a little, but I thought there were parts that dragged on the other two Shrek's.

This one is a lot more kid-friendly. There were not as many jokes aimed at the adults in the audience. But these were replaced with a valuable message--just because people think that you're a monster or a loser doesn't mean you are. Don't define yourself by how people see you, but, rather, be yourself. I think kids need to have that example.

And Arthur's leadership style is not to settle potential conflict through violence, but rather through dialogue and discussion. Since Bush has the menality of the age group that composes the audience the makers aim for, maybe he'll learn something after watching it. But I doubt it.

So, summing up, Shrek the Third, I liked it.

Now, the previews:

• Bee Movie: The trailer featuring Jerry Seinfeld in a bee costume has, pardon the pun, garnered a lot of buzz. That wasn't the one I saw. This one was animation only. My knee-jerk reaction to it is that it's kinda bland. I mean, the concept is innovative, imagining the inner workings of bees and teh hive-mentality, but the plot is basically 'our hero wants to break out of the mold society has created for him and be free to do things his way", which isn't terribly original.
• Hot Rod: I'll say this, Andy Samberg's "Lazy Sunday" piece for SNL was pure genius. It worked on so many levels. But not everything he does works that well. This movie, as per the preview, appears to be him has a wannabe stunt driver, practicing become better. That seems kind of, eh? But then I read the description on IMDB:"Self-proclaimed stuntman Rod Kimble (Samberg) is preparing for the jump of his life. Rod plans to clear fifteen buses in an attempt to raise money for his abusive stepfather Frank’s life-saving heart operation. He’ll land the jump, get Frank better, and then fight him, hard." Now that's damn interesting.
• Transformers: This trailer looks cool. But, then again, every trailer for a Michael Bay movie "looks" cool. Doesn't always mean that the movie will be good. The trailer plays up the human element in the movie, explaining how Shia LeBouef's character bonds with the good Transformers. So, what I've seen of that bodes good for the movie. What I don't like as much is the way, to me at least, the robots aren't all that easy to tell apart. That could be really bad. I just have to wait and see.
• Ratatouille: I have a standing belief that Pixar can do no wrong. And so far, that belief has not been shaken. However, as blasphemous as this might be to say, I think their movie selection has become sort like a game of double dare: "I dare you to make a movie about the scary monsters under the bed, but make the monsters the good guys" "Well, I dare you make a story about a clown fish searching the ocean for his son, who is in an aquarium in a dentists office", "well, I dare you to make a movie about a family of superheroes, make them realistic and quasidisfuctional but still loving each other" "Well, I dare you to make a film where everyone is a car and race cars are professional athletes" "Well, I dare you to make a sympathetic story about a rat living in Paris who wants to be a cook." So far, it has worked. By the cynic in me thinks that it might not last forever. But even if they fail, they are taking chances. Which is what I love about them.
• Nancy Drew: Is it wrong that I actually want to see this movie? Maybe because the plot involves an unsolved Hollywood murder and I am reading up on unsolved Hollywood murders in preparation for my trip out to L.A. But I thought the preview looked cute, witty and funny. Anyway, I feel like I should go to my local police station and give them my name because I am two decades older and have the wrong chromosonal make up that Nancy Drew's target audience. I will say this, though. If you think comic book readers are hard to please, you should read some of the comments on Nancy Drew's IMDB page. Nancy Drew fans have got to have comic fans beat. 

QotD: Should've Seen Them Live

Which band or artist which is no longer performing or alive would you have loved to have seen?
Submitted by Rev Stan.

Nirvana. Definitely Nirvana.

This week's movie openings.

Shrek_the_third

1. Shrek the Third (4,122 theaters): Yes. it's Shrek and only Shrek. The 2nd Shrek movie was the 3rd highest grossing film of all time. OF. ALL. TIME. I saw Shrek 2 and kind of liked it, but I didn't think it was THAT good. I saw it once in the theaters, bought the previouly viewed DVD, but that's it. I am surprised that it did so well.

But that may be the reason why its sequel is being released without any competition. Heck, Spidey 3 (Spidey 2 10th all time) opened with Lucky You and Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (Pirates 2 6th all time) is opening with "Bug" next week. Strange.

Anyway, Shrek is back and must find a king to replace his father-in-law. While he's away, Prince Charming is attempting a coup, resisted by Princess Fiona and her All-Princess Crew (Funky Fresh! Bittabittaboo!). Oh, and Shrek is about to have, or just has had, kids of his own.

Over at Rotten Tomatoes, the film has gotten hammered so far, Out of 50 reviews, only 21 have been positive, leading to a Tomatometer score of 42% fresh. Not good.    

Not that I think that's going to have much standing on how it does at the box office. My predictions?

1. Shrek the Third
2. Spider-Man 3
3. 28 Days Later
4. Disturbia
5. Georgia Rules.

Yeah, I think Shrek will still get the top spot. I think Spidey 3 has enough to hold second and Disturbia will flip-flop with Georgia Rulles. 

PARIS IN THE POKEY UPDATE: California legal system goes back to sucking.

CNN.com announces that Paris Hilton's jail time has lessened from 45 days to 23 days because of good behavior.

What is this good behavior?

"Her sentence was shortened after jail officials gave her credit for good behavior, Whitmore said. Officials considered several factors in calculating the credit, including that she appeared for her latest court date, he said."

So, she gets her sentence reduced for showing up for a court date. A date that she was legally obligated to attend. Or she could have face even more jail time. That's not good behavior. That's logical behavior. She shouldn't be rewarded for doing something she was supposed to do.

On top of that, she's not even going to be in with the regular population. She's going to be in a "special needs housing unit", usually reserved for "police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates."

Well, at least she's still going to be in jail, although that might change before June 5th.

A useless rant about American Idol.

I don't know why I am ranting about this. Well, part of the reason was because Melinda Doolittle, the best singer out of this year's Idol class was voted off last night. But I haven't watched the show since Gina Glocksen was voted off, except for the occasional  last 5 minutes of the random results show. And it's not like finishing 3rd is going to hurt Melinda. Chris Daughtry finished fourth and has out sold last year's winner Taylor Hicks' album by millions.

I am upset, however, because dopey websites like "Vote for the Worst" has made Blake "Every song is better with a beatbox" Lewis get into the finals.

I was annoyed by Blake when I first saw him do 311's version of the Cure's "Love Song" on the show. This showed that Blake had absolutely no taste because that was a horrible version of great song. Then, in a cut away where we learned more about the contestants., Blake said he liked doing improv comedy. Hey! I like improv comedy! Let's take a look. A quick cut and Blake reappears on screen in a goofy wig, stupid looking false teeth and speaks in a lame hick accent. That's not improv. That's being an idiot.

And he seriously thinks that every song is better with a human beatbox.

"You give love a bittabittabo bittabittaboo bad name"

"Fly me to the bittabittabo bittabittaboo moon"

"Breaking the law! Breaking the bittabittabo bittabittaboo law!"

"Happy birthday to bittabittabo bittabittaboo you!"

There is a reason why beatboxing died out in the late '80s, Blake, because doofuses like you were doing it.

Now, the vote for the worst website says that it is rigging the election because of unfair practices by the producers during the audition process. Amongst other things, they say that not everyone who auditions gets to sing in front of Randy, Paula and Simon, there is heavy editing, bad singers are encouraged to go through for entertainment value, and good singers are sent home if their story isn't interesting enough. In other words, the contest is not fair.

I have two things about this: It's a frikkin reality show! It's a entertainment program! Of course it's not going to be fair! Anyone who thinks it should be, is a moron. Heck, the releases they signed when they audition probably spelled everything out for them. If they signed it, they should know what they were getting into.

And if they hate it so much, why don't they just don't watch it. 

This is unacceptable for them. They had to take a stand! With a fist pumped defiantly in the air, they decide to not vote for the contestant's the "man" wants them to! They will vote for the worst! That will show them!

So in other words, because they think that because some good singers don't even make it to see the three judges is unfair, they vote against the good singers that somehow made it through to make sure the crappy ones win. And this is somehow, more fair?

I mean, correct me if I am wrong, for all the "noble reasons" behind VFTW's crusade, they are , in essence, as unfair if not more unfair than the Idol producers.

But at least they showed them! The producers are at their mercy! Eventually, they shall bow to VFTW's will!  The numbers are on VFTW's side. There is nothing they can do!

Um, there is one thing they can do. They can change the calls from toll-free to their being a charge to call in.

See, fans, friends and family of contestants will be willing to pay .99 cents per call to vote for their faves. The college kids with too much time on their hands who think it's kewl that they can sabatoge a popular TV program won't pony up the money to call in the 100's of times they are doing now. That's beer money, son, not to be touched. And VFTW will fade into obscurity.

I guarantee you that, if not next season, then the one after, the phone calls with cost you. Mark my words.

Now, I wouldn't be upset if these yahoos decided to organize picket lines wherever the auditions are being held. Or, how about this, if these bozos went to say, supporter Howard Stern, and have him pony up the dough for them to go to each audition city and audition each of the castoffs that Idol rejects. All the good singers that were unfairly shunned because they weren't interesting enough. If they are willing to step it up take Idol on reality show to reality show, I'd have more respect for them. But that is too much work for the same attention they're getting now.

The result of this is that Blake has a 50% chance of winning. His album probably still won't sell, but that doesn't mean he won't get heavy airplay for his single. I know what's going to happen. His cover of "Losing My Religion" will be on one radio station while I am driving. I will change the station, and the same song will be on the one I changed it to, because that's how radio works. And when it get to the "That''s me in the bittabittabo bittabittaboo corner, that's me in the bittabittabo bittabittaboo spotlight" part, I will run my car deliberately in to a collection of pedestrians as a protest to VFTW. And at my trial, I will play the Blake single. And no jury will convict me.     

 

New Review Up at PopMatters.

My review of Bizarre New World #1-3 is up at PopMatters. Check it out!

New Guiding Lines Column up

Yes, it's that time again. A new Guiding Lines column. This week I cover The Plain Janes, Fallen Son: Death of Captain America: Captain America, All-Star Batman & Robin #5, Rob Zombie Presents the Haunted World of El Superbeasto, G.I. Joe: Storm Shadow #1, Uncanny X-Men #486, Left on Mission #1. Click and enjoy!  

QotD: Search Me

How well does your name Google? Who are you up against? (Celebrities, etc.)
Submitted by Matt Blank.

With all my message board postings, columns, reviews and quotations of said columns and reviews, I come up at about 1,860. Not to bad for a shlub like me.  

Books: Wertham was Right!

Wertham Was Right!: Another Collection Of POV Columns

Mark Evanier

I know what you're thinking: "Two books in one day!!!! You're a machine, Bill" Actually, A) I finished Thunderstruck yesterday, and B) I usually read about 20 books at the same time, bouncing back and forth between them all. I has been know for me to spend years to finish one book, but sometimes I finish two in close proximity to each other.

But if a book is really good, I usually breeze through it. And this one is a good book. If you search around the blog, you'll see a review for Mark Evanier's other book, Comics and the other Necessiies of Life. This one is a follow up to that one and is just as good.

It seems like the articles in this volume are a little bit longer.  But that's okay because Evanier is such a good writer that you really don't notice much.

The title comes from an article where Evanier examines the now classic book Seduction of the Innocent by Dr. Frederic Wertham. Another good part about this book is that when I ordered it on Amazon, Seduction of the Innocent came up as being eligible to be ordered. Yes, the most infamous book in comic history, the book that cause EC Comics to die and changed the face of comics forever, was apparently reprinted in 1996.Of course, I had to but it. Expect a review of it here in the future.

Books: Thunderstruck.

Thunderstruck

Erik Larson

I was a big fan of Erik Larson's last book, The Devil and the White City. It told two stories. One, it was the about the creation of the 1893 World's Fair. Two, it was the tale of one of America's first serial killers, H.H. Holmes.  The hook was that both stories played over time, 1893, and in the same place, Chicago. The dichotomy made for an interesting read. The fact that a stunning act of creativity could happen in at the same time and in the same place as something so vile and evil drew me in.

Thunderstruck travels along the same lines. In moves forward a few years, to the turn of the century, and acroos the sea, to London. But it also is a tale of stunning creativity-Marconi's creation of the wireless telegraph--and a murder both vile and evil--the North London Cellar Murder.

But, for some reason, I wasn't as in to Thunderstruck as I was Devil. I don't know why. Maybe because Marconi was more cold and Aloof than Devil's Burnham. Or maybe because Thunderstruck's killer, Hawley Crippen, was more sympathetic than Holmes.

Or maybe it was because the stories are not balanced. Both stories in Devil were interesting to me. So when it bounced back and forth between them, it kept my interest. In Thunderstruck, I found the murder story much more interesting than Marconi's. I couldn't wait to read more about Crippen. At times, I was bored reading about Marconi.

Overall, even though it was not as good as Devil, I liked it. But it would have been better if it focused exclusively on Crippen.   

Movie: Weekend Box office: How did I do?

The weekend figures were announced again. Here's what I predicted:

1. Spider-Man 3
   
2. 28 Weeks Later
   
3. Disturbia
   
4. Georgia Rules
   
5. Delta Farce

And here's how it turned out:

1. Spider-Man 3
2. 28 Weeks Later
3. Georgia Rules
4. Disturbia
5. Delta Farce

I was 3 for 5, but at least all my top 5 were IN the top 5 this week. After 3 weeks, I am 6 out of 15, for an average of .400. I am in Ted Williams territory here!

And sorry, Jeff, but Delta Farce was one of the ones I got right. I'm just glad it didn't rate any higher.

Radar Magazine ticks me off

Radar%20and%20Lilo%5D-thumb

I mentioned in an earlier post that I once filled out a survey online and as a reward I got a bunch of free subscriptions. One of the subscriptions I got was to Radar Magazine. It was supposed to be a "take no prisoners" look at politics and entertainment. I had picked up the first issue at the newsstand and sort of liked it but felt there was something off about it. The most recent issue showed me what it was--not letting facts get in the way of writing inflammatory stories.

I don't know if you can read the cover to the left. If you could, and you know me, you could probably guess what blurb caught my eye. In case you couldn't read it, here's the blurb that caught my ire: "Sony's Spider Bite, The Sequel That Ate $500,000,000!".

So, right there, right on the cover, Radar is saying that Spider-Man 3 cost half a billion dollars to make.

Now, all the published reports I've seen on various publications and websites state that the production budget was $258 million. Not chump change at all, but almost half of what Radar is claiming. Where's the difference coming from?

First of all, Radar is claiming that the actual production budget was $350 million. The other $150 million of their total comes from "marketing and promotion". People have been adding "marketing and promotion" to the budgets of films for ages and I don't think it's fair. Is there a movie out there that is not marketed or promoted? With a studio like Sony, they probably had a whole marketing and promotions department which handles those tasks for all of it's movies. Sure, some movies might have more money devoted to advertising than others, but that money is probably taken from a separate budget.

And in Spidey 3's case, most of the promotion and marketing comes from companies that paid to license the character--Wal-Mart ("Spidey's back and he's at Wal-Mart), Burger King and Activison for their Spider-Man 3 video game. These corporations aren't just providing free advertising to Sony, they are actually paying to essentially market and promote the film.  

So that leaves us with a budget of $350 million, $100 million more than what the studio claims. Now, where does Radar come up with this amount? Top secret Sony ledger sheets? No! Through the claims of "industry insiders".

Now, you'd think that Radar would try to back these numbers up. Maybe interview various special effects houses and see how much they would charge and stuff like that. No, again. They again use rumor and conjecture to prove their point. They mentioned a set which cost "at least a couple of million dollars to construct" that Sam Raimi was unable to finish shooting the scene that took place there before he had to shoot in NYC. The set, according to Radar was "razed" and had to be rebuilt. This leads one to believe that a studio and a director, knowing that they had to use the set again in the future, tore down the old set and had to have a new one built from scratch. Hmmm, I don't think so. Sure, it might have had to been taken down, but it was most likely reconstructed instead of totally rebulilt.

The most laughable claim by Radar for their budget is that the movie was partially shot in New York City. Granted, NYC is one of the most expensive places to shoot a movie. I'll give them that. However, EVERY SPIDER-MAN MOVIE WAS SHOT IN NYC!!! Is Radar trying to say that the shot MORE scenes in NYC for this movie than the last two? Maybe they shot in ritzier neighborhoods? Because just the fact the movie was shot in NYC was not enough reason for Radar's inflated claims.

They also say that there were a lot of scenes shot for the movie that did not make it into the final film. Obviously the writer of the article has never seen any "Special Edition" DVD. Every one of those, heck every DVD, has a bunch of "deleted scenes" on them. This is nothing new.

Another reason Radar gives is that the film went over schedule. In addition to the expense that causes, it also means that the studio had to pay extra for "rush work from effect houses" who were also working on a whole bunch of other CGI heavy summer movies.

These are all pretty flimsy reasons for the $100 million discrepancy. Especially when most of the scenarios they cite are pretty much common in Hollywood. They just don't convince me of their point, which, if they are going to mention it on their cover, they really should have.

Even in the article, they admit that the movie, even with their bloated production cost will still end up making money. And, on this point at least, they are right. The worldwide gross of the movie is $621 million dollars--after only two weeks! So, even if it cost $500 milion, the movie made more in profit than some other movies make in their entire theatrical run. Kinda defeats the purpose of an article the evils of an inflated Hollywood budget, doesn't it?  

Movie: The Ex and the trailers before it.

TheEx

My wife and I have a game we like to play. Well, actually, it's more me than my wife but anyway.We like to go to a movie theatre on a whim and see a random movie. We usually select the movie by what is the closest show time to when we're there that we both would like.

28 Weeks Later was out because Jen doesn't like gore. I could have seen Disturbia, but Jen wasn't in the mood to be scared. It came down to Fracture and The Ex. The Ex won by paper ballot (I wrote both movies down on their own piece of paper, folded them up, shook them around in my habe, and Jen picked the winner.).

How was it? Good. Not the best movie, but good. And it's all because of the acting. As a matter of fact, if the acting wasn't so good, the movie probably would have annoyed the heck out of me.

The movie was pretty much a a bunch of standard plots thrown together with a lot of weirdness. Basically, it's the story of two rivals (Zach Braff and Jason Bateman) whose rivalry covers both work and for the heart of Amanda Peet's character. There is also a fish out of water plot, dealing with strange people plot and bunch of slapstick comedy plots thrown in.  

Braff does put upon shlub who can't seem to do anything right well. But Bateman kicks butt. His is full bastard mode here, like he was on Silver Spoons and It's Your Move. He is such a manipulative thug that you hate him every time he comes on the screen but can't wait until he on again.

Peet is good as the wife, and, to the scripts benefit, her character is portrayed as very believable. Charles Grodin, in his first role in 13, is great as Peet's father. The rest of the actors, and there are some big names, are relegated to cameos. Including Paul Rudd (40 Year Old Virgin, Clueless) as the owner of a snooty NYC restaurant and Romany Malco (40 Year Old Virgin, Weeds, Blades of Glory) as a doctor who helps out Peet when she gives birth. All of them acquit themselves well, but Poehler really shines in a small role as Braff's office confidant.

So, I would recommend this to someone who has a couple extra bucks in their pocket.

Now, the trailers:

• You Kill Me: This is a must see. It is a comedy where Ben KIngsley stars as a hitman with a drinking problem who is sent to San Francisco to sober up. There, he gets a job at a morturary and meets a woman, played by Tea Leoni. That might not seem that funny, but trust me, it's a lot better than that description. Jen and I turned to each other after the trailer ended and said "We have got to see that". One of the best trailers I've seen in a while. It really did it's job. I went from not knowing anything about the movie to wanting to go see it after one viewing. That's an accomplishment.
• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry: I wonder, if I asked them nicely, would I be able to pay my 10 and just see the scene where Jessica Biel undress and/or her in the cat woman out fit over and over again? Because this is a different cut of the trailer and the new stuff in it really doesn't make the rest of the movie any better.  
• Death at a Funeral: The weird film that seems like America trying to make a British comedy. It hasn't gotten any less weird, but I likie weird so I might just see it.

This week's movie openings.

 

GeorgiaRule

1. Georgia Rule (2,523 theaters): Forget Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Carribean at Worlds End or Shrek 3, this is the movie of the summer. Watch out records, this movie is going to break all of you!

Okay, maybe not. Kind of a weird cast, an Oscar winner, an Oscar nominee, and Lindsay Lohan. I don't know if this movie is a step down for Huffman and Fonda or a step up for Lohan.

The studio should thank the fact that Lohan is such a party animal. If she actually turned up for work on time and did her job, then there would be absolutely no buzz about the movie.

The story appears to be that of an out-of -control teen (Lohan) who is sent by her mother (Huffman) to live with her grandmother (Fonda) in the hopes that she will get straightened out.

There is so much estrogen in that last paragraph that I feel all girlish just writing it. I like a chick flick as much as the next straight man, but this one is a little too much. Thank god the wife has no interest in it either.

Not that if you want to see it, you're a bad person. Just not my cup of tea.

 

28_weeks_later

2. 28 Weeks Later (2,303 Theaters): I have yet to see 28 Days Later (which I should rectify either tonight or tomorrow), but I'm not exactly sure about this one. First off, Danny Boyle is gone. Second, Cillian Murphy is not back. Third, every preview I see is a little light on the zombies, which would have made up for the other two.

The movie picks up, naturally, 28 weeks after the viral outbreak that turned most of London into zombies in the last movie. The infection is supposed to be gone, so the U.S. is repopulating London with survivors of the outbreak. Unfortunately, the virus isn't as gone as everybody thinks it is, and zombies start reappearing. The U.S. forces respond the way you think they would to the virus' return--they bomb the hell out of London.

I do like the "survivors returning to the scene of the outbreak" plot point. I'm not such a fan of the "U.S. responds to difficulty by bombing the heck out it", no matter how true it is. Hopefully, that is a last ditch effort by the troops. Because you think that any armed forces that would do as much planning as it would take to repopulate a major city such as London would have another failsafe besides "bomb them back to the stone age."

Of all the movies this week, this is the one I would probably see. However, I'll probably be seeing alone, because Jen doesn't like zombies quite as much as I do.

 

Deltafarce

 3. Delta Farce (1,931 Theaters): And then there's this one. The wittiest part about this movie is the poster, which is a parody of the one for Full Metal Jacket.

Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy and DJ Qualls star as soldiers supposedly on their way to Iraq who mistakenly land in Mexico. Yeah, I don't know how that could happen either. Anyway, they blow up a town a little before they end up saving it. Or something like that. I really couldn't be bothered finding out what the real plot is.

You know, Dubya is always quick to label anyone who just has the hint of a criticism about the war as not supporting the troops. I wonder if he'll say the same about the people who made this movie. It portrays the U.S. Army as a bunch of incompetent fools  That seems just a little bit insulting.

But odds are, if Dubya speaks out on any movie, it'll be 28 Weeks Later. Because Larry the Cable Guy is more popular with the people who support him than zombies are.

I heard a rumor that Larry the Cable Guy is actually from Michigan or some place like that, and not a redneck at all. I don't know if that's true or not, but I like the sound of that. Feel free to spread that around if you wish.

 

 

 

TheEx

4. The Ex (1,009 theaters): I don't know much about this movie. IMDB says that it's about a slacker (Zach Braff) who has to work for his in-laws when his wife (Amanda Peet) steps away from her high paying job when she gets pregnant. Apparently, one of his co-workers is an ex-flame of Peet's, hence the title. I should go see it, because it might be my life story in a couple of years.

The cast is out of this world. In addition to Braff and Peet, two actors who I like, they are joined by Jason Bateman, Charles Grodin, Mia Farrow, Donal Logue, Amy Poehler, Amy Adams, Josh Charles and Fred Armisen. A lot of my favorites in that line-up. They might not be the highest grossing or most exciting group of actors, but they all have done a lot of great work in the past.

But it is only in 1,009 theaters, so odds are that it won't be knocking off Spider-Man 3 at the top of the list. Not anything opening this week will.

So, what do I think the top 5 movies will be this week? I'm glad you asked.

 

1. Spider-Man 3
2. 28 Weeks Later
3. Disturbia
4. Georgia Rules
5. Delta Farce

I don't think any of these have what it takes to knock Spider-Man 3 out of the top spot. And I believe Delta Farce and Georgia Rule could very well switch places. Of course, I also could be thinking the rest of America likes zombie movies as much as I do, and 28 Week Later could be lower. We'll see.    

New Guiding Lines column up.

Yes, there is a new Guiding Lines column up. This week, I cover Countdown #51, Marvel Zombies Dead Days, Betty and Veronica Double Digest #151, Satan's ***** Baby, Hack/Slash #1, and Mystery in Space #8.

Paris Hilton is headed to the Pokey!!!

Parishiltoninpokey

The world got some good news today. Paris Hilton is heading to jail for 45 days for violating her plea agreement for a drunk driving arrest in September.

Why am I so happy about this? Is it because I don't like Paris Hilton? Partly.

She is essentially famous for nothing. She thinks that the world should bow down to her, that normal rules don't apply to her, just because her grandfather's father earn a boatload of dough.

Now, I'm just as surprised as she is that she's going to jail. I mean, this was Los Angeles, a town where if you are famous. you can get away with almost anything.But, in this case, Justice was served.

Well, it was if you ask anyone outside of the Hilton family. Now, you'd thing if you or your daughter was sentenced to jail time because she blatantly broke the law, that would be a call to reexamine your priorities. Maybe try to change from a spoiled brat to a responsible citizen. But noooooo. Not with Paris or her mom.

When the prosecutor said Paris deserved jail time, her mother Kathy laughed (as per this report on CNN.com). When the judge passed his sentence, she blurted out "May I have your autograph?" Yeah, the judge is only sentencing your daughter to jail time because he wants to be famous.

Kathy Hilton then had this to say to reporters outside the court when asked what she thought:"What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke." 

Okay, she's not learning anything. But how about Paris. Well, this is what she had to say about it: "I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted and I don't deserve this." (Source: CNN.com) 

Unfair? Unwarranted? Maybe she's right let's look at the facts.

On September 7, 2007, Paris was arrested after driving erratically. They did a breathalizer, and she came back with a .08, above the limit.

She pleaded no contest to reckless driving in January of this year. Her punishment? Her license would be suspended for 90 days, she got 36 months of probation, had to take mandatory alcohol education classes and had to pay $1,500 in fines.

Hmm, that to me seems totally unfair. She should have gotten a heavier sentence. SHE WAS DRIVING DRUNK! $1,500 in fines? She spends more than that in five minutes of shopping.

Okay, so on January 15th, she was pulled over by the cops. At this time, she was made to sign a document saying that she knew that she wasn't allowed to drive. I repeat, she was made to sign a document saying that she wasn't allowed to drive. Okay?

Her explanation for this? Oh, she thought the cop was wrong and she didn't read what she signed.

I am going to draw up a contract stating that she is going to give me $20 million dollars. Then, I'm going to ask her for her autograph. Why play the lottery when it's that simple to make money?

On February 27th, she was pulled over for driving without her lights on. DRIVING WITHOUT HER LIGHTS ON! A MONTH AND A HALF AFTER SIGNING A DOCUMENT SAYING THAT SHE KNEW THAT SHE WASN"T SUPPOSED TO DRIVE!

Now, if you are going to flagrantly break the law, shouldn't you do so in a way so as to not draw attention to yourself?

Oh, and that alcohol education class? She was supposed to start it by February 12th. By April 17th, she still hadn't begun them.

Her excuses? Her publicist (who she fired after the court verdict) told her she could drive. No, not a lawyer, not a judge, but her publicist. She didn't read the thing that cop made her sign, but she takes the advice of her publicist.

So, is her prison sentence unwarranted? Unfair? I don't think so. She was not allowed to drive. She drove. Twice. (at least that's how many times she got caught.) She was flagrant in her disregard to her sentence. If she got community service or house arrest, she still would have drove. Not that I think the prison time will have any effect on the way she acts, but I think that it's warranted and fair.

Movie: Weekend Box office, How did I do?

So, it's that time of the week again, lets see how I did in the predicting the box office:

1. Spider-Man 3
   
2. Disturbia
   
3. The Invisible
   
4. Lucky You
   
5. Next 

And this is how it turned out:

1. Spider-Man 3
2. Disturbia
3. Fracture
4. The Invisible
5. Next

So, I got 3 out of 5 right. Which beats last week's 0 out of 5. So, far, after two weeks, I am batting .300. Good enough for a spot on a major league baseball club.

What I love is that the final totals for Spidey 3 say it's earned over $151 Million and Disturbia earned only $5 Million. There was a $146 Million drop off between the number one and number two movies. You don't see that often. In fact, Spidey 3 earned almost 3 times asmuch as Disturbia in one week. Scary.

By the way, open blog post to Sam Raimi. There are rumors starting already that the bad guys for Spidey 4 are going to be Carnage and the Lizard. Now, I know that you haven't even signed on for number four yet, but my advice would be either use the Lizard alone or use another villain instead of Carnage. Maybe the Vulture or Mysterio. Carnage is just a watered down Venom, and we already saw that.  

Movie: Spider-Man 3 and the trailers before it (for the second time)

Spider-man_3

I dragged my wife to see Spidey 3 on Friday night. Mainly because I wanted to get her opinion on it, also, because there was a character in that had a similar name to hers and I knew she would have gotten a kick out of it,

I was slightly quieter than the first time I saw it. But only slightly. There was a bunch of Latina's sitting behind me discuss in what they were going to do on Saturday. I guess this is a true sign that I am becoming old, but why do some people believe that it is appropriate to talk during movies? If you want to talk so badly, skip the mobvie and go to the coffee shop. You aren't watching a DVD at home, you're at a theater with a bunch of complete strangers who actually would rather hear what Aunt May says than what you say.

And in the one I saw in NYC, the main culprit of the talking said as an usher came to quiet him down "Hey, I paid for this ticket!' Like that means he can talk all he wants? I bought a ticket too, and I'd rather not listen to you talk. Who wins in that showdown?

Anyway, my opinion of the movie hadn't changed--I still loved it. In fact, it might have been better the second time around.  I will say this. Thomas Hayden Church doest more acting with just one facial expression in the movie than Nicolas Cage did in all of Ghost Rider.

Now, the second set of previews:

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Yes, this one again.
• Shrek 3: The NYC version of the film had Pirates. This one has Shrek, another contender for highest grosser. I am personally rooting for Spidey, fully realizing that I am a humongous geek for actually have ing a favorite in this contest.
• Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer: Yes, the burbs got the FF trailer! Sweet! Comic geeks realize that this movie will only be the set up for the next movie, which should be the coming of Galactus. The trailer tells a little more of the story. The Surfer travels the world, scouting locations. Dr. Doom is back and tries to get the Surfer's powers for his own. Oh, and, at least for a small time, the Thing and the Torch switch powers. Of course I;m going to see it. And I am one of the few people who actually kinda liked the first movie. Supposedly, this one is going to be better.
• Bourne Ultimatum: See below
• Across the Universe: The wife was interested in this one, much more than I am. Led to an awkward moment when she read my comments on it below.
• Surf's Up: See below. I still will see this, because the wife likes all things animation. And, if I may backslide a bit, it might actually be sort of funny. But after this and Opus, enough with the peguins. Okay?

QotD: Luxury Wish List

If money were no object, which five luxury items would you rush right out and buy? 
Submitted by lorilyn.

I am going to cheat here a little bit. I hope that's okay.

1. I would buy land here and in Nepa and build mansions in both locations. Lots of guest rooms for my out of town friends to sleep over. And comic vaults.
2. I would hit Best Buy on New Release Tuesday's and load up on all the new CD's and DVD's that came out. And then I'd do the same at Barnes & Nobles for books.
3. I would buy every comic I needed to complete all the sets I currently am collecting.
4. I would hit up Amazon.com for all the CD''s, DVD's and Books I always wanted but never could afford.
5. I'd buy some more land and build the Bracken Theater Company of Wilkes-Barre a state-of-the-art theater to call their home. And I would force them to do at least one of my plays a year.

 

Spider-Man 3 and the trailers before it.

Spider-man_3

I saw the first showing. I saw it on 42nd street in NYC. I got there at 10AM, an hour before the showing,  and the line to get in was already halfway down the block--literally. The first showing must had been sold out or close to it. Some of the later shows already were sold out through advanced ticket sales.

How was it? It was excellent! I don't know if it was the best of the three, but it was as good as any of the three, and that's good enough for me.

I was concerned, for reasons listed below, and because I read some negative reviews before hand. Oner said that there is a lot of crying in the movie. There is, but it isn't because Spidey got a paper cut or something. It because the scene called for it.

I won't spoil the plot for you, but everything you may have read or figured out in the trailers is in the movie plus a whole lot more. It's a 2 and a half hour movie (although it doesn't seem it). There are a lot of twists and turns.

Great acting all around. Although, for some, like Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy and James Cromwell as Captain George Stacy, they have one or two pivotal moments in this movie but it seems like they are just setting the stage for a bigger role for the characters in a sequel.

But good acting from all the prinicples. And it was good to see that all the actors from previous installments returned again. Elizabeth Banks plays Betty Brant in all three. This is a small supporting role and she is on the verge of becoming a leading lady.She has grown out of the supporting role stage of her career, but she came back. This might be due to contractual obligation. But I'd like to think it is more by choice.  

As for a sequel, they have left it open, but if this is the last one, it has a nice sense of closure.

I also had the joy of seeing it in a NYC theater. Which means that anytime action slowed, some members of the audience thought that it meant that it was their time to talk. But it also means some scenes that were meant to have an impact had a big one. Needless to say, I am probably going to see it again tonight or tomorrow at a quieter, local theater.

Now the previews. The was no offical FF trailer, which I thought was odd. There was an "inside look" before the previews, which looked really cool, but no actual trailer.

 

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: A longer trailer explain more of the story. This is the one volume I had yet to read. Seems much darker.
• Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End: Same preview I saw before. Kinda balsy to advertise what could be the one of the biggest movies of the summer before another contender for the biggest movie of the summer.
• Rescue Dawn: Based on a true story, Christian Bale stars as a pilot shot down in Laos who makes a daring escape. Steve Zahn plays against type as a fellow prisioner who Bale tries to save. Don't know how this played to the audience. It looked good (although I'm not a fan of military prison escape movies) but I don't think it was up the audiences alley.
• Bourne Ultimatum: I liked the Bourne Identity, and have yet to see the Bourne Supremacy, but this movie looks good. I have a soft spot for any movie that can convince me Matt Damon is a badass.
• Across the Universe: This is a musical featuring the music of the Beatles. Weird trailer. Well, to begin with, it looks like the plot is forced to make use of the music. It's a love story! It's a turbulent tale of the sixties! It's a portrait of an artist! And then. seemingly out of nowhere, it turns into a trippy psychedelic movie. Part of me is interested in this, but then again I am interested in car wrecks. Do I really want to see my favorite Beatles songs with a bad film running in my mind every time I hear them? BTW, Michael Jackson (or whoever gave up the rights) should be shot. Not just for this instance of the abuse of the Beatles music, but for all of them.
• Surf's Up: I am almost reaching my saturation point with penguins. I loved March of the Penguins, really liked Happy Feet, but this one kinda makes me want to say "enough". Surfing penguins? Come on. I only hope this trend continues long enough for a Opus movie. And then stops.   

QotD: My Daily Dose

What websites do you visit every day?
Submitted by Chez Michelle.

I have been meaning to post this anyhow, but now I have a reason.

• Well, Vox of course.
• the CBGXtra Message Boards: There are a lot of out there people posting, by also a lot of intelligent discussion.
• Chris's Invincible Super-Blog: I came across this one on my friend Jeff's Vox page. It is a daily dose of hilarity.
• Comic Fodder: Not updated every day but you'll find intelligent essays here.  
• Comic Book Resources: Especially for it daily comic film updates and the weekly Lying in the Gutters column.
• Comics Should Be Good: Especially like the Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed post which hit every week. But there is a lot of good stuff on here as well.
• The Pulse: A comics news site.
• Elijah J. Brubaker: An indie comic creator who is almost done listing his 50 favorite superheroes.
• Fred Sez: The official blog of Fred Hembeck. Yeah, I'm a fan of Fred. Love them squiggles.
• newsfromme: Mark Evanier's blog. This is not the first time this man or his blog has graced mine. I'm a big fan. I like his writing style and this blog covers everything from comics to Bradway to Los Angeles.  
• Newsarama: Another, slightly better comics news site.  
• PeterDavid.net: The blog of Peter David, writer of stuff.
• The Beat: The blog of Heidi MacDonald. Behind the scenes news on comics, especially indies, and other stuff.
• Tony's Online Tips: Online column of comic writer Tony Isabella. Covers a lot of stuff.
• CNN.com: Some real world news.
• Yahoo: I check out some more news and my fantasy teams.
• Pop Candy: The blog of USA Today writer Whitney Matheson. A treasure trove of pop culture goodies.
• MySpace: I usually check this once a day to clean out the friend requests from hoochies.
• William Gatevackes.com: I check out my website to see how many hits I got.
• Fark.com: Weird news from across the country.
• Film Buff Online: News and commentary about movies.

Vox Hunt: Small Screen Crush

Video: Show us your TV crush.
Submitted by quornflour.

Shandi finnessey 2

That would have to be Shandi Finnessy, host of Playmania and co-host of Lingo, both on GSN. She is blonde and Republican, which normally isn't my type, but she has a great sense of humor and a sweet personality. Of course, she pales in comparison to my wife Jen, but, then again, who doesn't? 

 

Shandi's Elvis Impression

 

This week's movie openings.

Since it worked so well last week, let's try it again.

 

Spider-man_3

1. Spider-Man 3 (4,252 Theaters): Ah, the tiny, little art film that is opening in a limited number of theaters this week--not! Yes, Spidey 3 has set the record for most theaters showing a film, ever. I'm sure this record will last, oh, until Shrek 3 or Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End opens. It is already breaking box office records overseas and has received kida "eh' reviews. Out of about 105 reviews, it has a Tomatometer score of 65%, the same score Music and Lyrics and Meet the Robinsons got.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned just a little bit. Mainly, about the fact that there are three villains in the piece. I think the "Let's cram as many villains in the movie as we can" policy is not a good one and was one of the reasons the Batman franchise faltered. And, from what little I know of the script, I believe each of the villains have their own storyline. No crossing over or shared screen time. This is, on one hand, good because all the villains aren't shoehorned in to one plot. On the other hand, it might mean each of the villains are not properly developed.

I have yet to be disappointed so far and I will be in line for the first showing tomorrow. Like I always am.

 

Lucky you

2. Lucky You (2, 525 theaters): The words "oft-delayed" in the description of any movie is enough to strike fear into the hearts of any moviegoer, much the same way "starring Nicolas Cage" or "directed by Uwe Boll" does. Usually, it means that either there were problems with the shoot or the studio had no confidence in the film. Or, sometimes, both. That adds up to a potentially bad movie.

Lucky You has been oft delayed. Which of course opens it up to all sort of speculation. It has a fairly good cast in Eric Bana, Drew Barrymore, and Robert Duvall. And it is directed by Curtis Hanson, he of L.A. Confidential and 8 Mile fame. So it should be good. However, it is a tale of romance set in the world of professional poker. That doesn't really grab a hold of me. And most of the dialogue in the ads scream out cheesy. Such as "You only think of yourself" and "I think that everyone is just trying not to be lonely" and "sometimes you have to play to win". I cringe when I hear those lines.

Was the studio trying to bury this film by opening it the same day as Spidey 3? Maybe, maybe not. After all, one of the reasons "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" became a hit was because it was released the same day as "Batman". People who couldn't get into one, got into the other. And besides, they could have just released it direct to video.

So, what are my box office predictions?

1. Spider-Man 3
2. Disturbia
3. The Invisible
4. Lucky You
5. Next    

RetroRant: Avengers #1

180px-Avengers-1

I have been bouncing some ideas around for this blog. One of them is doing quirky reviews for stuff. I’ve seen them done on other sites and thought “I can come up with snarky rants about my comics too! Maybe then Blair Butler will notice me and mention me on AOTS!”

 

Or just notice me at all. Ah, Blair Butler. Sigh.

 

Anyway, I‘ve decided to develop “RetroRants”. What I’d do is go through my comic collection and do reviews about them. The serious ones would get serious reviews. The campy ones, snarky reviews.

 

Since I own all of the Avengers, I decided that I would start there first. So, if people like these and I don’t grow tired of them, I could conceivably RetroRant about the whole series. And after that, if I am still alive, perhaps move on to Captain America or the Defenders or another title I own all of.

 

But now, the first issue of my favorite comic of all time, Avengers #1.

 

We start with a splash page of a wistful Loki looking out over the cliffs on to the sea. For a second, we think were going to get an Asgardian version of Wuthering Heights or something.

 

The peace is broken on the next page as Loki starts whining about his lot in life. I’m banished here in the wastelands, wah wah wah, Odin banished me here, wah wah wah, all because of Thor, wah wah wah, I hate Thor.”

 

Loki has decided to get his revenge on Thor. So, since he can’t leave the section of Asgard, he sends his floating eyes to Earth. Yes, I said “floating eyes”.

 

There the spy Thor in his civilian identity of Dr. Donald Blake. Now, if you wanted vengeance on Thor, I’d strike at Dr. Blake. After all, he’s a puny human with a bum leg. Drop a bookcase on him and be done with it.

 

But noooooo. Loki has to be all honorable and stuff. He must defeat Thor when he’s Thor. So he paints himself into a corner. Not only does he have to get Blake to turn into Thor, but also come to Asgard. Why must he make things so difficult for himself?

 

Then, what to Loki’s wandering eyes should appear by the Hulk. Ah, this beast should be powerful to make Thor take notice!

 

So, Loki decides to have Hulk destroy a train trestle, hoping that Blake will change into Thor and take notice. Loki creates some fake dynamite and leaves it on the trestle for Hulk to see.

 

Now, this was a slight more intelligent that average Hulk. He is actually able to speak in complete sentences with a modicum of subject/verb agreement. So, when the Hulk sees the dynamite, he adjusts his leap to try and get rid of it before the train comes. Unfortunately, Hulk doesn’t realize that his 1,000 pound frame doesn’t really land all dainty like, and destroys the trestle anyway. Luckily, he is able to jury rig a platform an holds up the destroyed tracks so the train doesn’t crash. But that’s okay, damage is done.

 

There is a lot of talk about deconstructed storytelling these days. One conversation can take up an issue in a half. In this issue, Lee and Kirby go from the Hulk saving the train, newspapers reporting the fact as the Hulk almost destroying the train, to Rick Jones reading about it in the span of four panels. FOUR PANELS! That took at least the better part of a day, if not a day and a half, all covered succinctly in four panels. Eat that, Bendis!

 

Of course, Rick is a friend of the Hulk so he does the only thing a true friend would do in this situation—he tries to contact the Fantastic Four to beat the snot out of the Hulk so he can’t destroy anymore stuff.

 

This simply wouldn’t do for Loki however. He has no beef with the FF. Luckily for him, there was a hiring freeze in Asgard. Instead of hiring new gods for everything, the just double up with the gods they have. Loki, fortunately, gained the title of God of Misdirecting Ham Radio Communication. He uses the powers given him as God of Misdirecting Ham Radio Communication to redirect Rick’s pleas of help to Don Blake’s transistor radio.

  

Unfortunately for Loki, he’s not a good God of Misdirecting Ham Radio Communication, because he also redirects the message to Iron Man, and Ant-Man and the Wasp too.

 

A panel or two later, all the heroes converge on the clubhouse of Rick and his Teen Brigade, offering help. How did they know where the Teen Brigade was located? Damned if I know.

 

Then, we get one of the goofiest set of panels in comic history. Here, let me show you them:

 

Hank Pym, breaking the laws of physics through his own stupidity.

Okay, so instead of just, oh, I don’t know, growing to human size, they decide to climb inside a conveniently placed projector, next to the blazing hot bulb, and have their pictures projected on the wall. And instead of what usually happens when light hits a solid object, it doesn’t cast a shadow but actually projects their image on the wall!!! Hank Pym is a freakin’ genius!

 

Of course, the fact that there are now three other heroes joining Thor doesn’t do Loki any good. He wants Thor alone. So he creates a “mental image” outside of Teen Brigade headquarters at a time when only Thor is looking.  Thor, the gloryhound that he is, goes after the Hulk alone. He soon realizes the Hulk is a “mental image”, automatically knows that Loki is behind it, and hi-tails it to Asgard to “straighten Loki right out” and apparently tell him what a “rude, thoughtless, little pig” he is.

 

What is the Hulk doing all this time? Oh, he’s joined a circus.

 

Hulk, you clown!

I just love this panel. The Hulk, in clown make up, juggling a random set of animals: a horse, an elephant, and a seal. Where the seal come from? Were seals a popular circus animal in the 60s? And couldn’t they find another animal? I mean, I could probably juggle a seal, if I had to.

 

That's one scared elephant.

And I love the look on the faces of the animals. The seal seems almost to be enjoying it. He’s all “Wheeeee!” and stuff like that. And, to be honest,  it might be fun to be juggled. Getting tossed up the air, the slight feeling of being weightless. Fun.

The horse is kind of, “Eh, whatever. Just don’t drop me, putz”. The elephant, however, has a look of abject horror on his face. Well, not so much in the original, but as he’s recolored in the Marvel Masterworks version?

 

Again, that's one scared elephant.

Notice the added white of the eyes. This is just brilliant. It just adds so much to the elephants character. That one coloring change puts us in the mind of the elephant, and the elephant is thinking “Holy S#%t! I’m in the freakin’ air! I’m a freakin’ elephant! I shouldn’t be in the air! Help! Help me!”

 

Well, at least to me it does.

 

I know what you’re asking, why would the circus hire the Hulk? After all, he is the Hulk. Well, see, they think he’s a robot. A found robot, no less. They say so themselves. “Finding that robot was the best thing that ever happened to the show.” I guess in the 1960s, at least in the Marvel Universe, it was fairly common for people to just discard superhumanly powerful robots that look like the Hulk on the side of the road for any carny or circus freak to pick up. Forget about the fact that the robot in question looks like the freakin’ Hulk and has a heartbeat and hair and everything, think about what he’ll do for the show!

 

Well, the whole robot thing doesn’t fool our team. Ant-Man and Wasp get there first, setting up what we’ve all been waiting for—Hulk versus Ant-Man and Wasp. If we want to be logical about it, this fight should be over in a time so short that we cannot adequately calculate it with the time recording technology we have today. The genius of Lee and Kirby makes it last three pages.  

 

First, Ant-Man sacrifices millions of his ant brethren to digging out the ground underneath Hulk, millions of ants who are no doubt crushed when the ground, and Hulk, collapses on top of them. Rest well in Heaven, ants, your vain sacrifice will not be forgotten.

    

Of course, this doesn’t work. So then Ant-Man has his ants loosen a steel, tube-like cylinder that is fastened to the main beam of the big top, trapping Hulk inside it. Why is there a steel, tube-like cylinder fastened to the main beam of the big top? I don’t know. I am unfamiliar with the ways of the circus people.

 

Of course, this doesn’t work either. So Ant-Man takes the next logical step. What do you do when Hulk escapes your first two traps? Lure him under the trapeze net. Because if tons of dirt and rock couldn’t stop him and a steel tube is ineffective, a flimsy net surely will do the trick.

 

Later in the series, when Hank Pym strikes Janet (IE, the Wasp, for you non-comics savvy folks.), many argued that it was out of character. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. You can say that the stage was set here because Hank callously sends Janet alone against the Hulk to try to get him under the net. Nice. Sending a wasp-sized woman to fight your battles for you. Pussy.

 

She lasts a few seconds before being taken out by a fireplace bellows (What was a fireplace bellows doing there? Because it needed to be there! Stop asking questions!). Luckily, Iron Man finally arrives and chases him up into the net.

 

Of course the net doesn’t work. The Hulk takes it and the big top itself into the desert with him, being chased by Iron man all the way.

 

But hey! Wasn’t Thor in this book at one time? Why yes he was. We check in on him asking his father Odin if he can kick Loki’s ass. Odin says yes, but don’t expect him to pick sides.

 

For a man who was all about facing Thor man to man, you’d think Loki’d actually face him, well, man to man. Well, you’d be wrong. Here’s is what Loki throws at Thor to delay him: tangle roots, a volcano, volcanic gas globules (naturally), an ice shield, a giant troll, and various mental images of himself.  Of course, none of them work, and Loki ends up hanging off the edge of a cliff. Thor magnetizes his hammer and brings Loki in. He then travels to Earth.

 

Back on Earth, Iron Man has chased the Hulk to an auto factory. I bet the have plenty of robots the carny folk can “find” for their circus there.

 

Iron Man ties to take the Hulk out while pelting his invulnerable, bulletproof hide with soft rubber tires. This works as well as you think it might. Hulk responds by slingshotting a drive shaft at I.M. I.M. catches the thick, solid steel drive shaft and molds it to a fork-like thing to pin Hulk to the wall. Hulk replies by simply destroying the wall by backing through it. Luckily, Thor arrives with Loki and brings the slobberknocker to a close.

 

 

It's fero-gami!

 

Hulk, not being picky who he fights, joins Thor and Iron Man against Loki. Loki fight back the only way he can—by turning himself radioactive. Of course, this being a Marvel book of the 60s, that would only mean Thor, Hulk and Iron Man would get a brand spanking new set of powers.

 

Things look grim for our heroes until, in the background, a bunch of ants are seen hitting a button. Unbeknownst to Loki, he was standing on a hidden trap door. Because, you know, many auto factories have trap doors hidden right outside their buildings. Loki falls down the conveniently placed trapdoor and into a even more conveniently placed lead tank. Thor, being an expert on atomic testing, comes out with: “This is where the trucks that carry radioactive wastes from atomic tests dump their loads for eventual disposal in the ocean!” Ah, the sixties, when wordy exposition was commonplace and dumping toxic waste in the ocean was deemed acceptable.

 

Threat taken care of, the heroes start to leave. That is, before Ant-Man and Wasp suggests that they form a team. Sure, why wouldn’t Marvel’s weakest heroes want to hang out with much more powerful heroes?  They all agree to become the Avengers, and I, for one, am happier for it.